By Des Hudson of team “The Lion King”
Which woman best represents your footy team?
ADELAIDE CROWS: JULIA ROBERTS
Big in the 1990s but done nothing lately?
BRISBANE LIONS: Pamela Anderson
Best and only asset is upfront
CARLTON BLUES: NAOMI CAMPBELL
Struts around like a winner but behaves like a loser
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES: BELINDA NEAL
Arrogant b***h who thinks the world revolves around her
ESSENDON BOMBERS: SHARON STONE
Once the hottest name in the ‘biz, now just a fading force
FREMANTLE DOCKERS: CASEY DONOVAN
Seemed like a good idea at the time, now no-one is buying her sh*t
GEELONG CATS: NATALIE BASSINGTHWAITE
A star after years as a bit player
HAWTHORN HAWKS: JESSICA ALBA
Hot Hot Hot
MELBOURNE DEMONS: LINDSAY LOHAN
A miracle she is still alive
NORTH MELBOURNE KANGAROOS: KIM (FROM KATH & KIM)
Deluded and incapable of living without the intensive support of others.
Would fit right in on the Gold Coast.
PORT ADELAIDE POWER: BRITNEY SPEARS
Once had the world at her fingertips. Now can’t even remember to wear underwear in public and is a failure on the home front.
RICHMOND TIGERS: JANE FONDA
A legend in the 60s/70s but you wouldn’t touch her in 2008
ST KILDA SAINTS: RICKI LEE COULTER
Promises a lot but never delivers
SYDNEY SWANS: CATE BLANCHETT
Used to be boring but has become interesting again
WEST COAST EAGLES: AMY WINEHOUSE
Enough said
WESTERN BULLDOGS: LINDSAY DAVENPORT
Unflashy, no nonsense gritty competitor
