DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipstress, Nadia Suric from team BYRD submitted her tips at the confession box this week.
(The maestro BYRD refers to is the loving name she has for your tipsmaster)
Byrd: “Forgive me Maestro for I have sinned, it has been one week since my last confession”
Maestro: “Go ahead my child”
Byrd “After last week’s game I’m still in severe shock!”
I want to get Fevola’s bollocks and turn them in to cuff links, better still whack them in the blender and turn them in frittata.
Bloody Twat!, I don’t give a flying F**K that the nerves got the better of him, unbloody believable, that cocky little bastard cost us the game and a drop on the ladder! Bastardo!!!! GGGRRR!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Maestro “God forgives us all, follow his path my child”
Byrd “It will be the wrath of God, oops sorry Meastro….. Ahem if I ever see him, Fev had better pray that I don’t cross paths with him!!! Porca Miseria!!!!! (Bloody Hell in Italiano, might come in handy for you one day Caro Maestro)
He is a gonner!!!! Brutto Bastardo!!!!!
Maestro “Calling the name in vain is not permissible during confession do as you might to try and console yourself my child in focusing in your inner strength and wisdom.”
Byrd “Now that I have got this off my chest, the all important tips, yeah don’t worry Maestro I’m still here, It’s just having to listen to the excruciating details from Uncle Ev, she’s getting on my nerves, Hey Uncle Ev stop smirking, yeah when Collingmaguirewood lose a game (Collinmaguiewood supporters call it a mere technicality….Bullshit!) It’s like the end of the bloody world, but us Blueys have to cop it on the chin. You know what Maestro? St Kilda will be shitting all over them, you read it first!
Collingmaguirewood might as well concede defeat here and now, they are gunna lose anyway so why bother playing?…………. Where was I? Oh yeah the tips.”
Maestro “Focus my child”
Byrd “Very well Maestro, I shall do my best.”
Essendon I want Essendon to slaughter Hawks to absolute sheer death. No Mercy!!! Enuff!!!!
Brisbane You honestly don’t think I’m going to break the Cardinal rule do you? unlike others… (Manski, Uncle Ev) Yup I’m spilling the beans no holding back! Forget the sister hood!!!
Geelong God I hate Shitney I mean Sydney, that F**K Wit Barry Hall should be locked up in a mental institution, he is a menace to society, he’s clinically insane. Yeah let’s get rid of vermin, the world will be a better place. Unforgiving aren’t I ?
Port Adelaide Kangaroos still pretty shit, not keen on them either.
Carlton There is no way in Hell that the Blues are going to falter with this one, Freo are still playing with their eyes shut, no doubt with last weeks debacle, do you think that my Blue Boys will stuff up… they had better not or I will scream!!! no their will be a mass murder.
Bulldogs These laddies are doing alright. Damn them!!
West Coast Poor ol’ Melbourne, honestly Gary Lyons can do all the cross dressing he likes and sing his little heart out for salvation, but it aint gonna happen people, the end is nigh’….. very sad indeed.
St Kilda Yeah let’s get down and dirty with this one, it will be one sorry game for Collingmaguirewood, listen up Uncle Ev, you lot will be crying a river when this torture session is over and done with, HA! HA! HA! HEE! HEE! HEE!, may you all each and everyone of you bow your ugly mugs in the hall of shame.
YOU ARE NOT GUNNA WIN OKAY!!! THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once again, many thanks for listening to my confession, now I will say ten Our Father’s and ten Hail Mary’s.
Our father who art in heaven……………
Maestro “May your God guide you and steer you my child. Let us pray…………
Buona Notte Maestro
Byrd
TIPSMASTER’s note: oh filly me bony belly, dominous forbisco benny selif ollus dominoes…
