Fevola Jokes

Jump to Comments

(pic: Nicole Coutts)

FEV

The jokes are out on Bredan Fevola. (lovingly sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, KING CAREY).

Carlton recruits a 6′10″ African for 2010. He is very athletic but has no 
football experience. They decide to put him in the forward line. At the 
first training session Ratten gets all the forwards together to go through 
the game-plan. He speaks very slowly:
 
‘Carlton man get ball in midfield. When you see, you run toward Carlton 
man. Carlton man kick ball to you. You catch ball..’ The African pipes up: 
‘Mr Ratten, I can speak perfect English Sir.’
 Ratten replies ‘Yes I know. I was talking to Fev.’
 
***********************************
 A man, on his way home from work was stuck in traffic which was much worse  than usual. Noticing a policeman walking among the stalled cars, he asked,  “Officer, what’s the holdup?”
 
The policeman says: “Brendan Fevola is so depressed about his behaviour at 
the Brownlow that he’s stopped his car and is threatening to douse himself 
in petrol and set himself on fire. He says everyone hates him. His wife is 
leaving him and taking everything and he’s going to lose his $750,000 
contract at Carlton. I’m walking around taking up a collection for him.”
 
“Oh, really?” the man says. “How much have you collected so far?”
 
“So far only 18 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning.
 
********************************
 Q: What do Fev and a bottle of beer have in common?
 A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
 
********************************
 Fev is staggering home after Brownlow night when he’s stopped by a 
policeman, who asks him “Have you any ID?” Fev replies “Bout What?”
 
***********************************
 Fev leaves the Brownlow after-party and decides he needs another drink. He  staggers through the front door of a bar. Obviously drunk, he lurches up to  the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for 
a beer.
 
The bartender politely informs Fev that it appears that he has already had 
plenty to drink. He would not be served additional liquor at this bar, but 
could get a cab called for him.
 
Fev is annoyed, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out 
the front door.
 
A few minutes later, Fev stumbles in through the side door of the bar.
 He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a beer. The bartender comes over 
and still politely, but more firmly, refuses to serve him due to his 
inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.
 
Fev looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself 
out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
 
A few minutes later, Fev returns, bursts in through the back door of the 
bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently 
orders a beer.
 
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds him that he is clearly 
drunk, will not be served a drink and either a cab or the police will be 
called immediately.
 
Fev looks at the bartender and yells at him in a rage, “Man! How many bars 
do you work at?”

2 Comments

Filed under Fev, Humour, carlton