GROUNDHOG DAY AT THE AFL

It’s becoming boring.

Everytime there is a draw in the AFL, the reporters, press and talk back radio stations go beserk with the ‘Why do we have to have the draw’ syndrome.

As soon as the siren went in the Richmond v North drawn game, I knew we would be going into meltdown with the whinging and grissling of the AFL press who are desperate for a story…any story…

It’s the same each year for the ANZAC Day clash as well – GROUND HOG DAY. “Let’s have a phone in to see if your club deserves to host the ANZAC DAY clash” they cry.

Then they start on getting rid of the umpires bouncing the ball.

It’s boring and monotonous.

These are all fantastic parts of our unique game.

Let’s face it. I love the AFL draw. It’s tense and exciting in the last moments of the game. One team is the winner and one is the loser anyway because one of the teams has quite often blown the game (as in Richmond this year) and someone has saved their skin (North Melbourne this year).

The draw is a fantastic part of our game. I take you back to the first ANZAC DAY clash. Both sides, Essendon and Collingwood were fantastic that day. The result was a draw and we are all still talking about it.

How about my favorite. The “One more Kerna” day at the MCG where Carlton Bult, Steve Kernahan kicked for goal from Kernahan’s pocket after the siren when scores were level . He kicked out of bounds on the full! Carlton lost the draw that day, Essendon won the draw.

I’ve heard people say that it was terrible to see players so deflated after the Richmond/North game. They reckon Brent Harvey looked devastated and depressed…well stiff bikkies, I reckon. Scenes like these are part of our great game. They didn’t know whether to sing the song or not…get over it and sing the song next time you win. (In Richmond’s case, they’ve probably forgotten the words anyway).

How about caretaker Richmond Coach, Jade Rawlings  who says he would rather have lost than finished on a draw. What kind of a fool statement is that?

Receiving 2 match points for the draw has often put a new slant on the shaping of the final 8.

*I’ve heard arguments for extended time of 5 minutes for each team.

*I’ve heard of a goal kicking shootout (you might as well toss a coin or do the paper, scissors, rock thing)

*How about the bloke who suggested that the team who kicks the first goal of the match should be retrospectively awarded the win in a drawn game.

*Or the next goal wins if scores are level at siren time – I hope we’re kicking with the wind with that one…

*One idiot even phoned the radio station to suggest a replayed match after the Grand Final – the funds to go to charity…Well I’m sorry, but when I begin my AFL career, I will be on the end of season trip for that one…

Mike Sheahan’s article in Tuesday 21 July Herald Sun just about made me sick. Sheahan always goes against the grain of our game as he is just another reporter desperate to fill his press column with a controversial headline.

That idiot Craig Hutchison was at it again on Talking Footy, Monday night. “Why is ours the only sport who doesn’t deal with a drawn contest?” he bleated. Well I’ve just got one word to say to Hutchy “Soccer”. Does this bloke forget that soccer deals up a draw in most of its encounters. Soccer World Cup has a penalty shootout which rewards the team with the best full forward.

How about cricket? You can play 5 days for a draw and I’ve seen some fantastic, tense and exciting drawn contests which go down to the last ball of the 5th day.

Our game goes for about 100 minutes, if you can’t separate the combatants in that time, well so be it. Enjoy the novelty of the draw. Some of the best games in history have been draws and these are games we are still often talking about.

Fair dinkum, I’m on my soap box about this one but I’m sick of people always trying to change what is perfect.

I’ve had enough – LEAVE OUR GAME ALONE.

Well, well, well…he’s been at it again.

Most of you will know that I have little regard for the loud mouthed AFL reporter, Craig ‘Hutchy’ Hutchison.

Hutchy has a habit of shooting his mouth off with his overpowering ‘inyaface’ style of dramatic journalism and dynamic statements. Fair dinkum, Hutchy must be under pressure to find a story and as such, lo and behold, because of his premature ejaculation… – his credibility has plummeted to the pits yet again.

I refer of course to the debacle out at Punt Rd last week as AFL reporter, Craig Hutchison in reporting on the increasingly monotonous Richmond coaching job saga, fell for the all time sin of counting his chickens before they were hatched. Hutchy and his single minded yearn for a headline and being first to print has reinforced his cowboy, crash and bash style journalism and in doing so has probably sacrificed the real scoop and the story at hand.

“Terry Wallace – SACKED. Assistant coach Brian Royal – SACKED.  Jade Rawlings – NEW CARETAKER COACH” cried Hutchy.

All wrong.

How did Hutchy handle the aftermath of such a bumble?

He came out on channel 9’s AFL Footy Show to dig his own hole even deeper.

“The more humble the apology – the greater the man” (Col Gray).

Craig Hutchison had no intensions of apologizing to Wallace, Royal, Rawlings, or their families who have had to endure an arduous week. Instead, he got on his silver lined soap box and further reported on a heap of drivel involving the Richmond footy club. Hutchy’s obvious intension was to save his own skin and try to reinstate some self indulgent credibility – the kind that would have best been applied by a simple apology.

Hutchy chased Terry Wallace to his car,with a microphone rammed in his face, in classic ‘A Current Affair’ fashion. Wallace handled the situation with refined dignity.

So too, Hutchy harassed other Richmond players, Richo, Bowden, Captain Chris Newman and Mitch Morton as they left a club meeting for their cars. All players and coach handled the situation with dignity and virtually no comment which fell on deaf ears to Hutchy who claimed that they all confirmed what he had announced earlier in the week about the club in turmoil.

I saw no such confirmation from the Richmond footy club in Hutchy’s farcical display of headline journalism. What I did see was Hutchy clutching at straws for a story as he has done several times before.

Hutchy has never had an original thought in his life.

Many of you will recall that I first had issues with Craig Hutcheson and his reporting a couple of years ago. Hutchy on that occasion was on radio 3AW and reported a story about the Collingwood/Essendon ANZAC DAY clash He quoted facts and figures about how other teams had all had a chance at making ANZAC DAY a success before Collingwood and Essendon made the match their own. The facts and figures Hutchy quoted were virtually word for word for an article written earlier and printed in The Age newspaper, by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, Bruce Clarke from team ‘PEAR’.

Never once in that radio article did Hutchy reveal the source of his information or own up to the fact that he had stolen his information from another source.

This sooky la la who won’t sit next to Sam Newman on The Footy Show because Sam picks on him, was at it again last night on Footy Classified. Hutchy openly quoted an article written by none other than his fellow panelist, Caroline Wilson! (why he would bother with that is anyone’s guess) but it is just another example of how this leech makes his living.

I’m glad that Hutchy got caught out last week with his Richmond coaching job blunder and the fact that he wasn’t big enough to own up to his mistake just further proves the weak limpet he really is.

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, SMITTY’s collection of BAD FOOTY CARDS.

SMITTY: My funniest footy cards…I’ll explain why.

1. Ron Alexander – never seen a player take the photo more seriously.  Looks like he got out his comb and some brylcream and trimmed the mo, then put on his most serious face.  Also he looks about 45 years old.

Tipsmaster’s note: Smitty – there’s nothing wrong with being 45 years old. I’m only a few years shy of 45 and you were in the same year as me at school…and Pear and Symo are there already…

2. Brian Walsh – as a kid I always hated this card even though he was an Essendon player, and he was one of those cards that you seemed to keep getting in every second pack you opened.  As a lid I thought he looked like a fat toad….nothing’s changed, he still looks like a fat toad.

Tipsmaster’s note: I too always hated this BAD FOOTY CARD – Just another famous ‘Walsh’ in the Essendon stable.

3. Wayne Primer – I think they got him out of bed and just told him “your hair looks fine, don’t worry about washing it just run a quick comb through it”.  I think Wayne had 365 bad hair days for a few years running.

Tipsmaster’s note: Primmer Donner? Click go the shears on that mop.

8.Phil Baker, Brent Crosswell, Frank Gumbleton & Malcolm Blight.  Nothing particularly funny bout these photos, but notice the signatures.  As a kid playing for Avondale Heights, we went and watched the Kangas train one cold winter night and I took my North Melb. footy cards in the hope of getting the signed.  I’ve included these cards to show Blighty for the tosser he was.  He refused to sign the card over his picture because “then you won’t see my face, son” and signed it on the reverse.  What a great ego. Did I ever tell the story about Kenny Fletcher and the dud cheque?……….

Tipsmaster’s note: Frank Gumbleton always looked about 45 and Snake Baker is a dead ringer for Marty Feldman! P.S. The Ken Fletcher dud cheque is a great story, Smitty…

. David Cloke, Gary Cowton, Peter Welsh & Goeff Raines -  a good sample of gay men hiding in the 1970’s.  I’ve actually got about 3 years running of Gary Cowton looking like this and I have a theory that he talked Peter Welsh into going to the hairdressers with him one day and getting the same perm.  Peter Welsh then tried to grow that beard to look a little more manly whilst Gary stuck with his mo as it worked a treat at the Blue Oyster Bar.

Tipsmaster’s note: They are brilliant BAD FOOTY CARDS, Smitty – P.S. Barnsey had a perm once – I’m still trying to get a hold of the photo…watch this space…

6. Ian Miller & Barry Padley – are these the scariest footballers you’ve ever seen, they both look like they’re just about to knock the shit out of the photographer. I think Barry was just asking the photographer “what the fuck are you looking at” as he was snapped.

Tipsmaster’s note: Avondale boys for sure, these 2

5. Kelvin Templeton – A true Bult lookalike, nothing more needs to be said.

Tipsmaster’s note: You know what they say, 1 in 3 of the world’s population is a Bult!

BAD FOOTY CARDS – episode 2

BAD MAL BROWN is our nominee for episode 2 of the BAD FOOTY CARDS competition.

Mal obviously thought it was fashion to wear Brown Corduroy Paddington Bear pants to footy training.

Then again, Mal Brown is so tough he can wear what he wants…

So.

The poor ol’ other footy clubs are bleating again about their selfish “poor ol’ me” in the annual ANZAC DAY monotonous whinge. The grissling has become an annual event to be expected, synonymous with the great ANZAC DAY and commemorating football match itself.

Their selfish, childish complaints are the opposite of what the ANZAC DAY legacy represents. I’m sure the men and women who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for all of us and our country would never have considered selfish complaints and whinging over a football match.

Every year the complaints fly as Essendon and Collingwood near fill the country’s biggest capacity stadium, the MCG on the brilliantly organized ANZAC DAY clash. A match that was designed, marketed and organized by the two participating clubs 15 seasons ago. The success of the ANZAC DAY clash makes most other clubs, (usually the pathetic, pennyless clubs) cry to the mountain with the “What about me” routine.

This year, ANZAC DAY fell on the Saturday which provided a perfect opportunity for some of these other clubs to get together and organize their own special day for the occasion. Who knows, a successful North Melbourne v Richmond night match may have prompted the AFL to investigate holding a second commemorative yearly match on ANZAC night at Docklands Stadium.

But these two pathetic clubs missed the boat.

Let’s look at the numbers. Etihad (Docklands) Stadium has a crowd capacity of 53,359 people, yet only 29,224 bothered to turn up to the North Melbourne v Richmond clash. That is 24,135 empty seats. Just over half full under the roof of the Docklands Stadium.

What a disgrace – and proof that these whinging clubs should shut up about stealing the Essendon v Collingwood ANZAC DAY match. They have no idea how to run their own organization – let alone have the foresight to get together with their opponent to capitalize on a perfect opportunity to promote their own identity, capture the night ANZAC clash and make a buck in the process.

Essendon v Collingwood attracted 84,829 people to the second biggest football day of the year. This is on a day where this season neither side has set the world on fire with their on field performances and a day where the weather forecast was extremely bleak.

Let’s look at the other matches held on ANZAC DAY around the country.

FREMANTLE v SYDNEY at SUBIACO 32,885 – CAPACITY 43,500 – not bad for an interstate battle.

HAWTHORN v WEST COAST at AURORA STADIUM 17,460 – CAPACITY 22,000. Again not a bad effort for interstate rivals and a match played in Tasmania.

Richmond and North Melbourne should both lick their wounds and ponder over what might have been, had they promoted the match properly. Instead, North Melbourne president, James Brayshaw stood on his usual soap box on his Sunday TV footy show and cried about why North can’t play in the ANZAC DAY clash. He even organized a phone in poll to count the ‘Who thinks Essendon and Collingwood should have exclusive rights to the ANZAC DAY match’.

The results came in at 54% no and 46% yes.

Not a surprising result considering the biased and very persuasive editorial Brayshaw gave before the phone in. Never once did anyone mention how North Melbourne actually had their own opportunity for the day and stuffed it up.

For the record, the 2009 Essendon v Collingwood ANZAC DAY was as always a great success, and that success has nothing to do with the result of the match. Congratulations to the administrations of both Essendon and Collingwood for staging a great event and it is surely no coincidence that both clubs are highly successful on and off the field.

These other whinging clubs’ administrations would be better served to take notice of how Essendon and Collingwood manage their clubs. They should be more proactive in their own back yard rather than crying about their miserable missed opportunities.

Ben Cousins’ relatively over-rated return to footy adds to Richmond’s plummeting woes to the bottom of the ladder where they belong.

For all of you veteren tipsters who disobeyed the rules (you know who you are) and for those new tipsters who don’t know the rules N.P.R (Never Pick Richmond)

While perusing through some of the correspondence I have on file from the 2007 DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP, I stumbled across this piece of gold sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, SANTA.

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ENJOY.

It’s no secret that I haven’t been a fan of Terry Wallace since he became a footy coach.

I seem to recall the knives in the back of a sacked Alan Joyce when Wallace was his ‘loyal’ deputy at Footscray.

He has always been prone to blowing his own trumpet to the point where many people believe the myth that Terry Wallace is a great coach.

‘Talking Footy’ was never a great footy show but Fair Dinkum it went down hill when the powers that be decided that Wallace was the best talent available to sit on the couch with that idiot Mike Sheahan. Mike Sheahan has always been Wallace’s champion as he continually pumps him up and refers to him as ‘Plough’ as though they have some kind of secret football no-body’s club going on.

Wallace also had that bearded buffoon Robert Walls bluffed as Walls, until recently, continually referred to Wallace as ‘a fine young coach’

Wallace is a bloke who has had a career of telling the world how great he is but has nothing to show for a mediocre eleven years combined at the helm of AFL clubs Footscray and Richmond. His claim to fame is that he cheated with flooding tactics to knock off the undefeated Essendon team in season 2000.

I laughed my head off when Wallace decided he would go to the Swans but the fans and the powers that be didn’t want him.

I now read with interest that the Tiger supporters (who have a long history of eating their own) have had enough and are turning on Plough in their droves.

The Footscray faithful used to worship Wallace like some sort of Western Suburbs Messiah until he did the dirty on their club.

In doing my research for my Terry Wallace segment, I stumbled across WOOF – Whitten Oval Online Forum

‘Dancin’ Douggie’ has said it all about Terry Wallace in his thread titled “Exploding the Terry Wallace Myth”

Terry Wallace has built his reputation and career on the ‘97 and ‘98 years with the Dogs.
The general perception is that he, as a genius coach, took a shabby list of perennial losers into two consecutive preliminary finals.

Let’s diagnose this perception.

The Bulldogs had already made the finals in ‘92 (prelim) ‘94 (1st semi) and ‘95 (Qual).
So after the disaster of ‘96 Terry inherited a team that had played finals 3 out of the last 5 years.
This was a good list and a good team. 3 Brownlow medalists. ( Wynd, Libba and Chris)
Young gun leaders in West Johnson Smith and Darcy, and a solid line up of finals experienced players. ‘96 was an unexplainable aberration. ‘97 prelim was a tragedy I’m still not over, but ‘98, when he left Smith on Robran, and Robran,( who was never really a GREAT player) tore us apart was unforgivable. Robran was about 2 foot taller than Smith so they just bombed it long to him and Smith just had to cop the humiliation as Robran kicked 6 easy goals on him.

After that we slipped from 6th to 8th to 10th to 12th (Terry jumped ship) to WOODEN SPOON.

Along the way he traded away Loved players like Leon Cameron and Brett Montgomery,
which damaged the very fibre of the club. ( I know Eagleton FINALLY came through, but along the way Monty collected a best and fairest, an all Australian and a premiership.) Wallace also (we all know) STOLE Nathan Brown. He persisted in drafting skinny midfielders year after year and that’s one of the reasons why we still have no key forwards today.

Then came the fanfare of Terry signing a 5 year deal with the Tigers ( surprise surprise, see above accusation).
At the time he said he chose the Tigers over the Hawks because the Tigers list was more advanced and closer to premiership success………. But then last year he told impatient Tiger fans he had ” inherited a train wreck of a list and don’t expect any success until 2011″. Meanwhile the Hawks look genuine top 4 material.
Hello?!?!?

And once again he is insistent on drafting wave upon wave of skinny midfielders…….

His win loss ratio since joining the Tigers is 36%
Myth busted?

I wonder what position Terry Wallace will talk himself up for as he is sacked by Richmond mid season this year.

CG