DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipstress, Nadia Suric from team BYRD submitted her tips at the confession box this week.

(The maestro BYRD refers to is the loving name she has for your tipsmaster)

Byrd: “Forgive me Maestro for I have sinned, it has been one week since my last confession”

Maestro: “Go ahead my child”

Byrd “After last week’s game I’m still in severe shock!”
I want to get Fevola’s bollocks and turn them in to cuff links, better still whack them in the blender and turn them in frittata.
Bloody Twat!, I don’t give a flying F**K that the nerves got the better of him, unbloody believable, that cocky little bastard cost us the game and a drop on the ladder! Bastardo!!!! GGGRRR!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Maestro “God forgives us all, follow his path my child”

Byrd “It will be the wrath of God, oops sorry Meastro….. Ahem if I ever see him, Fev had better pray that I don’t cross paths with him!!! Porca Miseria!!!!! (Bloody Hell in Italiano, might come in handy for you one day Caro Maestro)
He is a gonner!!!! Brutto Bastardo!!!!!

Maestro “Calling the name in vain is not permissible during confession do as you might to try and console yourself my child in focusing in your inner strength and wisdom.”

Byrd “Now that I have got this off my chest, the all important tips, yeah don’t worry Maestro I’m still here, It’s just having to listen to the excruciating details from Uncle Ev, she’s getting on my nerves, Hey Uncle Ev stop smirking, yeah when Collingmaguirewood lose a game (Collinmaguiewood supporters call it a mere technicality….Bullshit!) It’s like the end of the bloody world, but us Blueys have to cop it on the chin. You know what Maestro? St Kilda will be shitting all over them, you read it first!
Collingmaguirewood might as well concede defeat here and now, they are gunna lose anyway so why bother playing?…………. Where was I? Oh yeah the tips.”

Maestro “Focus my child”

Byrd “Very well Maestro, I shall do my best.”

Essendon I want Essendon to slaughter Hawks to absolute sheer death. No Mercy!!! Enuff!!!!

Brisbane You honestly don’t think I’m going to break the Cardinal rule do you? unlike others… (Manski, Uncle Ev) Yup I’m spilling the beans no holding back! Forget the sister hood!!!

Geelong God I hate Shitney I mean Sydney, that F**K Wit Barry Hall should be locked up in a mental institution, he is a menace to society, he’s clinically insane. Yeah let’s get rid of vermin, the world will be a better place. Unforgiving aren’t I ?

Port Adelaide Kangaroos still pretty shit, not keen on them either.

Carlton There is no way in Hell that the Blues are going to falter with this one, Freo are still playing with their eyes shut, no doubt with last weeks debacle, do you think that my Blue Boys will stuff up… they had better not or I will scream!!! no their will be a mass murder.

Bulldogs These laddies are doing alright. Damn them!!

West Coast Poor ol’ Melbourne, honestly Gary Lyons can do all the cross dressing he likes and sing his little heart out for salvation, but it aint gonna happen people, the end is nigh’….. very sad indeed.

St Kilda Yeah let’s get down and dirty with this one, it will be one sorry game for Collingmaguirewood, listen up Uncle Ev, you lot will be crying a river when this torture session is over and done with, HA! HA! HA! HEE! HEE! HEE!, may you all each and everyone of you bow your ugly mugs in the hall of shame.
YOU ARE NOT GUNNA WIN OKAY!!! THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once again, many thanks for listening to my confession, now I will say ten Our Father’s and ten Hail Mary’s.

Our father who art in heaven……………

Maestro “May your God guide you and steer you my child. Let us pray…………

Buona Notte Maestro

Byrd

TIPSMASTER’s note: oh filly me bony belly, dominous forbisco benny selif ollus dominoes…

22

Freo way to go

How do you do Kangaroo

GeeLong way to the top if  you want a sausage roll

AdeLaide an egg

CarlTon of bricks

SydNey zup mother brown

RichMond ay morning…so good to me

EssenDon Bradman. Now I tell you is he any good.

Now you will all notice that I have selected Richmond in the final round of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. Before you all call for my sacking, I’ll have you know that Richmond are my lucky team and since I selected them in round 1 and they won, I thought it only fitting to select them in the final round also. APR.

You will also notice that I have gone against Poor ol’ Footscray. I’m telling you – and you mark my words…Poor ol’ Footscray will miss the 8.

My tips for the 20th Century Fox Round

Collingwood (foxing but will beat PA) 

Essendon (since that spunky fox Peverill is back, the Bombers can’t lose) 

WC (Dee supporters will miss this game while they pursue the fox and hound hunt this weekend) 

Brisbane (Poor ol’ Footscray will miss the 8 - this week they will be like a fox on the run – sweet as) 

Geelong (Will kick Sydney into Fox Studios) 

Hawthorn (This game is not even worthy to be shown on Foxtel) 

Kangaroos (‘Fox in Sox’ is almost as funny as Carlton losing – nice work Dr Zeuss) 

Fremantle (Not even Lindsay Fox could save St.Kilda this season  -  you are passing another Fox)

de de de de de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de de de de de de de de de de….

de de de de…

de de de de…

DE DE DE DE

de de de de

(for those of you who didn’t recognise it, that was the 20th Century Fox theme music.

Rules 1&6 round from your tipsmaster who is not a Rules 1&6 type bloke.

Coll

Geel

Ess

Bris

Haw

Syd

Adel

Fre

15 is my limit on schnitzengruebens 

Skilda

Cllingwood

Glong

Essdon

Prt Adlaide

Hawthrn

Fotscray (they will miss the eight)

Wes Coat 

Please…I am not from Havana.

hawcarkangwbbrisessgeelsyd
 
I gotta split…

A lot of effort has gone into The Doggfather’s tips this round.

I especially liked the Roos pic and the Brad Hardie/Roger Merrett gems.

Great research Doggfather.

13

SAINTS of course on the round of the Last Supper.

Hawks

Port (NPR)

Brisbane

Geelong

Sydney

Essendon of course.

Ok, ok I’m going for the Bulldogs only because I have adopted a new rule (NPC)

If I get that lot wrong, I may as well join JC and his 12 mates for my last supper.

TIPSMASTER’s TIPS FOR ROUND 12

Thanks to Judester for stealing my thunder by naming her tips ‘The Dirty Dozen’.
 
So too The Big V who knicked my plan B of naming his tips ‘The 12 Apostles’.
 
Blow me down, then Hoot hyjacked my plan C with ‘Oceans 12′
 
This has made me one of Twelve very Angry men.
 
Essendon are certainties over WC.
 
Brisbane  -  Footscray will miss the 8 and the rot starts now.
 
Freo have dropped Kepler Bradley so I’m picking them to beat North.
 
Insipid ol’ Sydney will slowly strangle St.Kilda. It will be like watching one of those African Anachondas who take 3 days to devour and digest a hippopotamus. Looking forward to that one.
 
If Adelaide could only get within 5 points of Essendon at home, they won’t get within 50 points of Hawthorn. Wee and Poo for me.
 
Geelong don’t play as well at home but they’ll do Port there this weekend.
 
Collingwood to shut Carlton up. (they’d better not let me down again)
 
Richmond v Melbourne? Your kidding – why should we have to pick this one? As Pear put it “NPR v NPM gave me a great deal of trouble this week”

Tipsmaster’s note: When in trouble, always revert to the golden rule NPR. Melbourne for mine. 
 
 
I may even end up with a dozen eggs on my face after that lot.
 

Tipsmaster’s tips for the Apollo legs round.

Geelong

Adelaide NPR

Essendon  -  every loss brings you closer to that next win.

Sydney

Brisbane

Saints  -  I keep telling you. POOR OL’ FOOTSCRAY ARE NO GOOD.

Port

Collingwood