BAD FOOTY CARDS  -  episode 13

DENIS SCANLON

Scanlon just doesn’t look the same without Trevor Barker standing on his head, taking that spekkie.

(As seen 6.30 every Saturday night on the intro for Seven’s Big League Footy Replay)

So… There has been a case of rigged B&F votes in the Gipsland Footy League.

Re:

A COUNTRY footy champ has been rubbed out for five years after a sting discovered he was rigging the votes in a best-and-fairest count.

read more on:

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story0,21985,25918039-2862,00.html

Immediately I began to think in my head of players who were surprise winners in the VFL/AFL’s covetted Brownlow Medal.

Brian Wilson, Shane Woewodin, Poor ol’ Adam Cooney…just to name a few…

Do you think these players may have also rigged the results or were they just surprise winners in our great game’s awards history?

Lend me your thoughts and memories of past AFL BROWNLOW MEDAL results.

Ridiculous comments from Poor ol’ Footscray supporters

Poor ol’ Footscray prez (and regular poor ol’ blooper person), David Smorgon rates Poor ol’ Brad Johnson as the club’s “pre-eminent” figure.

Hasn’t he ever heard of Poor ol’ Ted E Whitten?

CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU

DGES FOOTYTALK – our premier website.

Bizarre really.

I was a bit puzzled to log on to DGES FOOTYTALK today, only to find that we had 48 hits to the site today alone. What could it be?..thought I. After all, I haven’t entered a ‘Bad Footy Card’ for a few days or any other intelligent post of such note for that matter.

I delved a little further and found that we had no less than 78 hits from people who had googled “Voldemort” in their search engine thing in the past 2 days and they hence ended up at DGES FOOTYTALK. (You may recall that DGES FOOTYTALK carried the scoop that Carlton star, Chris Judd was playing the part of Voldemort in the Harry Potter movies).

Coincidence?…you may ask… but it just so happens that the latest Harry Potter movie, “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” hit the screens this week and the world has been googling for more info on the hit Harry Potter movies. As luck would have it for those googlees, they have all now experienced the joys of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP via DGES FOOTYTALK.

As they will all now know, The world is a far better place for experiencing the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. (far more entertaining than Harry Potter)

P.S Congratulations and thank you to our loyal fans. Our website hit count has registered 7136 views in just over 12 months. Considering we are only active for 6 months of the year, our very own DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP website is polling extremely well.

DGES FOOTYTALK: Our premier website.

TIPSMASTER’s NOTE: For the benefit of our Poor ol’ Footscray supporters, this is the AFL Premiership Cup…

This BAD FOOTY CARD was sent to us by former DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, Glen Smooker from team SMUK. I’m having trouble pronouncing the name on this Bad Footy Card,  but I’m pretty sure his name is a sentence of some kind.

TIPSMASTER’s NOTE: Great BAD FOOTY CARD SMUK! Did you manage to collect the whole family collection?

Rusty’s brother Mike Kuntz, uncle Justin Kuntz, cousin Ivor Kuntz, nephew Phil Kuntz and sister Ima Kuntz.

I bet they can all fight…

Rusty’s credentials:

Wikipedia reports that this guy made his Major League Baseball debut with the White Sox on September 1, 1979. After being used sparingly by the Sox for four seasons, He was traded to the Minnesota Twins, then to the Detroit Tigers after the 1983 season. With Detroit in 1984, he had the best numbers of his career, a .286 average and an excellent .393 on-base percentage, although he appeared in only 84 games, mostly as a pinch-hitter and fourth outfielder.

In the fifth and deciding game of the 1984 World Series against the San Diego Padres, he pinch-hit for DH Johnny Grubb with the bases loaded and the score tied at three. He hit a pop-up to short right field that Tony Gwynn was unable to see (“I lost the ball in the sky,” he later admitted). Second basemen Alan Wiggins made the catch, but was unable to prevent Kirk Gibson from racing home from third with the go-ahead run. The Tigers never trailed after that, giving him an unlikely game-winning RBI. Rusty returned the Tigers in 1985 but appeared in just five games for Detroit (last on April 24, 1985) before being sent to the minors. After batting just .222 for AAA Nashville, he then retired as a player.

Thanks to Smuk for a great contribution for our latest episode of BAD FOOTY CARDS

Da da-da da-da da-da

Da da-da da-da da-da

Da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da da-da

Da-da da

We wear the Dog Spew

We wear the old, stale Dog Spew

We’re the team that always lets you down

We’re the only team from Canine town

No one knows we’re Carlton

Because’ we’ve sold out

Our Colours

And they will know that they’ve been playing

Against the famous ol’ Dog Spew.

I came across this poem on the wall of the Kinglake National Park Hotel. It touched me, firstly because of the author’s poetic way of introducing us to the WA/VIC rivalry in footy, but also because of the way Australians forgot all of our interstate prejudices and bonded together for the victims of the bushfires.

Unfortunately the author of the poem is unknown.

Essendon has always been an ugly team.

Since Damien (Ugly Pills) Peverill is leaving Essendon, I’d like your thoughts on who will be the Bombers next Ugly Pills Player.

By Des Hudson of team “The Lion King”

Which woman best represents your footy team?

ADELAIDE CROWS: JULIA ROBERTS
Big in the 1990s but done nothing lately?

BRISBANE LIONS: Pamela Anderson
Best and only asset is upfront

CARLTON BLUES: NAOMI CAMPBELL
Struts around like a winner but behaves like a loser

COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES: BELINDA NEAL
Arrogant b***h who thinks the world revolves around her

ESSENDON BOMBERS: SHARON STONE
Once the hottest name in the ‘biz, now just a fading force

FREMANTLE DOCKERS: CASEY DONOVAN
Seemed like a good idea at the time, now no-one is buying her sh*t

GEELONG CATS: NATALIE BASSINGTHWAITE
A star after years as a bit player

HAWTHORN HAWKS: JESSICA ALBA
Hot Hot Hot

MELBOURNE DEMONS: LINDSAY LOHAN
A miracle she is still alive

NORTH MELBOURNE KANGAROOS: KIM (FROM KATH & KIM)
Deluded and incapable of living without the intensive support of others.
Would fit right in on the Gold Coast.

PORT ADELAIDE POWER: BRITNEY SPEARS
Once had the world at her fingertips. Now can’t even remember to wear underwear in public and is a failure on the home front.

RICHMOND TIGERS: JANE FONDA
A legend in the 60s/70s but you wouldn’t touch her in 2008

ST KILDA SAINTS: RICKI LEE COULTER
Promises a lot but never delivers

SYDNEY SWANS: CATE BLANCHETT
Used to be boring but has become interesting again

WEST COAST EAGLES: AMY WINEHOUSE
Enough said

WESTERN BULLDOGS: LINDSAY DAVENPORT
Unflashy, no nonsense gritty competitor

The tipsters of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP as always are at the ready to contribute to DGES FOOTYTALK. Following are your contributions to the Alan Didak episode.

PEAR sent in the first photo of Morgan Freeman’s accident.

How about this little gem from BYRD and MANSKI?

HOOTER suggested for the prematch Collingwood v St. Kilda clash:

Didak will have a lap of honour around the ground…he’ll be driven by Heath Shaw who will get pinged for driving while disqulified and he too will never play for Collingwood again.

BYRD even composed a little ditti for the occassion:

Bad Ol’ Collingwood for never
They don’t know how to play the game
Backstab Backstab all together
When they screw the CEO just the same
Lies and more lies all together
F…kwits Oikey Galore
Bad Ol’ Collingwood for never
May they all suffer that’s for sure.

Contact DGES FOOTYTALK if you too wish to add to the Didak episode.