Monthly Archives: April 2008

Good ol’ Collingwood

This little gem was sent in by

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, UNCLE EV.           (I believe it's a true story too...)

A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting.  

While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Carlton footy jumper and says  to
his 10 year old sister "Hey mole, I've decided to become a Blues supporter
and I want this for Christmas"  

 

His sister, outraged by this, promptly wacks him around the head with  her
carton of Winfield's and says, "Sh*thead, go talk to mum."  

 

Off goes the little lad with the Blues jumper stuffed up his miller  shirt
and finds his mum.   

 

"Mum?"   

 

"Yes, son."  

 

"I've decided I'm going to be a Blues supporter and I want this jumper for
Christmas."   

 

The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full  tinnie
of VB at him, smacks him in the gob and says "let's talk to your father" 

 

Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours, with footy jumper in  hand,
and find Moose, his toothless tattooed father.  

 

"Dad?"  

 

"Yes, knackers." 

"I've decided I'm going to be a Blues supporter and I want this jumper
for Christmas." 

 

Moose goes berserk and gives his son an almighty backhander and says,
"No bastard son of mine is ever going to be seen wearing that sh*t",and
then kicks his arse from one end of the rec-room to the other, just for good
measure. 

 

About half an hour later they're all back in the old Torana and heading
towards home. The mother turns to her son and says, "Knackers, have you
learned something today?"  

 

The son says "Sh*t, yes you old slag. I bloody well have." 

 

"Good knackers, what is it?"  

 

The son replies, "I've only been a Carlton supporter for an hour and
already I hate you Collingwood pricks!!"

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Filed under Collingwood, Humour

INTRODUCING WOOFA!

Introducing DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, WOOFA  –  the youngest and sweetest and cutest ever tipster in the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP.

WOOFA (Ava Staltaro), daughter of THE DOGGFATHER and FOOTSCRAZY was eleven weeks old when she joined the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. She has already reached heady heights in the comp by winning the DGES WORLD FAMOUS JACKPOT. WOOFA currently shares second top spot with her mum FOOTSCRAZY among others on the leaders’ board, proving that at this young age, she already knows more about footy than the tipsmaster…

WOOFA is a staunch poor ol’ Footscray supporter which is something her Uncle Tipsmaster will have to convince her to change, although with parents called THE DOGGFATHER and FOOTSCRAZY  –  I don’t like my chances.

Keep the good tips coming WOOFA and see if you can encourage some of your friends from the playground to join the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. 

 

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Filed under footscray, Humour, WOOFA

Me for the round of 6

Since the season began, my tips have been going backwards.

Nodnesse

Gnoleeg

Notlrac

Sgodllub nretsew

Adlik .Ts

Enabsirb

Sooragnak

Nrohtwah

 

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Filed under TIPS

The latest sighting.

Further to DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, STIVA’s request that we use a more recent photo of DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, MVP BARNSEY – refer STIVA’s comment on an earlier post:

How about a recent photo of the Barnseman. Since that was taken he has enlarged from a A-cup to a B, and the dimple on his chin has been replaced by his 15th chin.

Stiva has sent his latest snap of the amazing psychic.

Interesting to note the dimple on the chin has moved south to become the camel toe in the crotch…

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Filed under Barnsey, Humour

OUR MITZ

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, ‘OUR MITZ’ is in great need of a long weekend.

When I told her that the ANZAC DAY DAWN SERVICE started a little after 4am, she asked me why it had to start so early…

Answer: Because it has to start at dawn.

I think we’re working her too hard.

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Filed under Humour

MVP BARNSEY…SPOOKY

He’s one of a kind our Barnsey from team MVP.
 
Many people have referred to him as ‘psycho’ in the past but on this occassion our Barnsey from team MVP has been proven to be in fact ‘psychic’!
 
MVP Barnsey submitted his tips in cryptic form again this round (as he does every round) and his words have proven to be quite prophetic in hindsight.
 
I quote from MVP Barnsey’s cryptic jargon, dated 18.4.08 where he entered his selection for the Bulldogs v Tigers clash:
 
“Poor Johno – Minson’s a cheat & they aren’t that good – upset, go Tiges”
 

Minson of course is the goal ace Bulldogs player who took the vital shot at goal to level the scores, when he was nowhere near the play.

 Psychic Barnsey has tipped Bulldog Will Minson to be a cheat 48 hours before the event.
 
Spooky stuff…
 
Such a prophesy puts our Barnsey in the same league as Nostradamus and Doris Stokes. 

Burn him at the stake I reckon.

 

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Filed under Barnsey

Also spotted

By Pear

Also spotted this week, Jason ‘Windowlicker’ Winderlich talking to Scott ‘Camp-oh’ Camporeale in the aftermath of the Barry Hall incident.

Apparently the window-licker was interviewed by Zoo magazine the previous week and asked whether he would prefer to get a leg injury, or be punched in the face by Barry Hall. He chose to take the Hall punch. Not a very smart choice, in hindsight…

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Filed under Famous Faces, Humour