Monthly Archives: October 2010

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE STILL RUEING LAST WEEK’S GRAND FINAL RESULT

For those of you who are still rueing last week’s Grand Final result.

Spare a thought for this Roo who is still rueing the day.

Lovingly sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP (and Riewoldt detester) Bruce Clarke from team PEAR

Tipsmaster’s note: Looks more like a Llama than a Roo…

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Filed under Grand Final, Humour, Sainta's

Collingwood jokes

OK. We’ve put up with their spruiking about their Premiership win for a week. It’s now time to shut ’em up and put ’em back in their box.

Time to laugh at the Magpies again with this little list of gems lovingly sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, Dave Bibby from team ‘BIG D’

Enjoy
A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Collingwood fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Collingwood fans.

Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, ‘Mary, why didn’t you
raise your hand?’


‘Because I’m not a Collingwood fan,’ she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, ‘Well, if you are not a Collingwood fan, then who are you a fan of?’

‘I am a Saint Kilda fan, and proud of it,’ Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. ‘Mary, why, pray tell, are you a St Kilda fan?’

‘Because my mum is a St Kilda fan, and my dad is a Saints fan, so I’m a Saints fan too!’

‘Well,’ said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, ‘that is no reason for you to be a St Kilda fan.

You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time..

What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would
you be then?’

‘Then,’ Mary smiled, ‘I’d be a Collingwood fan.




An Adelaide crows, a Hawthorn and a Collingwood fan are in a bar.

They’re staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.

He’s so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.

They stare and stare, until suddenly the Crows fan says: ‘My God, it’s Jesus!’

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.

Thrilled, they send him over a pint of West end draught, a pint of Fosters and a
pint of VB.

Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.

After he’s finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

He reaches for the hand of the Crows fan and shakes it, thanking him for the West End Draught.

When he lets go, the Crows fan gives a cry of amazement: ‘My God! The arthritis I’ve had for 30 years is gone.
It’s a miracle!’


Jesus then shakes the Saints fans hand, thanking him for the Fosters.

As he lets Go, the man’s eyes widen in shock.

‘Strewth mate, the bad back I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s A Miracle.’
Jesus then approaches the Collingwood fan who says,

‘Back off, mate, I’m on a disability pension.

””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””’

A Collingwood fan walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the
Counter and said ‘Hi, I’m looking for a job’.

The man behind the counter replied ‘Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got One in from a very wealthy man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his Nymphomaniac twin daughters. You’ll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their Overseas holidays. The
Salary package is $200,000 a year’.

The Collingwood supporter said ‘You’re bullsh*tting me!’

The man behind the counter said ‘Well you started it!’

”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

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Filed under Collingwood, Humour