Monthly Archives: April 2011

Sex in the shower – a true Collingwood joke.

Sex in the Shower

In a recent survey, people who are Collingwood supporters have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm ‘Brut’, a huge 86% of Collingwood supporters said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn’t been to prison.

Lovingly sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipstress Jude from team ‘JUDESTER’ who has finally realised that it is more fun to laugh at Collingwood than to love them,


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Filed under Collingwood, Humour, Judester

Alan Noonan – my first hero dies.

I am very saddened to read the news today of the passing of my first ever footy hero.

Alan (Lurch) Noonan passed away yesterday of a long illness. Noonan is probably the first player I idolised when I was a kid. A great goal kicker, solid high mark and speedy leader to the ball, Noonan wore Essendon’s famous number 10 guernsey.

Noonan was a great player for Essendon in a bleak era for the club. He kicked 420 goals in 182 games for Essendon before moving to Richmond in the 1977 season for 10 games. Noonan held the record for being leading goal kicker for Essendon (7 times) before his record was broken by Matthew Lloyd in 2004. He represented Victoria on 4 occassions.

I would have worn Alan Noonan’s number 10 on my footy jumper if only my mum could have made a  number 10 out of an old white pillow case. She struggled making a zero so I had to be content with the number 1 Neville Fields on my footy jumper which was still a pretty good trade off.

Noonan was often spotted in the outer at the footy supporting the Bombers or around the Essendon/Moonee Ponds area. The few times I bumped in to him I would always say “G’day Lurch” to which he would always reply “G’day mate!”

Sadly missed and fondly remembered, Alan Noonan number 10.


Filed under Essendon, obituaries


So far tipsters we have had some great responses to our latest competition to name an appropriate song list for the stage show ‘COLLINGWOOD THE  MUSICAL’ Try some of these suggestions for size…

Hooter lovingly sent us: Duelling Banjos…….

PEAR: Better get a lawyer son, better get a real good one – The Cruel Sea

HOOTER also sent us: Denis Leary’s….”I’m an arsehole”…. Napoleon XVI…”They’re coming to take me Away”… Beck…”Loser”…

JUDESTER (Our resident Collingwood supporter)

We are the champions.

Bound for Glory.

By the light of the silvery cup (Premiership cup that is)
The Animals: House of the rising (Premiership Flag) sun. The Beatles: Happiness is a warm pie (gun).
Dion’s : Abraham, Martin & John changed to Pendelbury, Thomas & Swan.
Louis Armstrong: What a wonderful world.
Hey Hey we’re the Magpies.
Procul Harem’s Whiter shade of pale (for the alternate strip)
Rolling Stones: Paint it black (cos we don’t want the alternate strip)
Tina Turner: We don’t need another hero..(We’ve got a team full).
TIPSMASTER’S NOTE: I think it is very cute that Judester submitted some seriously flattering songs about her beloved Collingwood and she doesn’t realise we are taking the piss out of them…

THE DOGGFATHER: machine gun fallati0 – butter my ass with a magpie (butter my ass with a pigeon) – thought I get this one in before Tigey. Look up the lyrics… definitely something a magpie supporter  would do.

SMOOKS gave us: Jailhouse Rock(ELVIS P) and Jailbreak (ACDC)

Your Tipsmaster also had:

Basket Case (Greenday)
The Fool on the hill (Beatles)
Geek Stink Breath (Greenday)
Kissing Cousins (Elvis)

Please join in the fun and send us your own suggestions of songs for COLLINGWOOD THE MUSICAL

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Filed under Collingwood, competitions, Humour, Uncategorized

Collingwood the Musical


I read with interest that we are in for a new musical to hit the stage.


…spare me.

Anyway tipsters, it is your challenge to send me a list of songs you think would be appropriate to feature in ‘COLLINGWOOD THE MUSICAL.’

I’ll start you off:



Simon and Garfunkle’s ‘AT THE ZOO’

A suggestion on the wireless this morning was:


Over to you tipsters, send me your suggested song list.

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Filed under Collingwood, competitions, Humour

St. Kilda’s game plan revealed

St. Kilda’s game plan revealed.

Lovingly sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster Glen Clarke of team ‘MOOSEBOY’

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Filed under Humour, Mooseboy, Sainta's

Quintuplets! Heppell, Thomas, Socko, Minogue and ?????

They’re coming out of the woodwork now folks, Since we discovered that Heppell and Thomas are separated at birth twins, we then found the triplet in Socko, followed by the Quadruplet in Kylie Minogue. Well now DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster Stu Clarke from team ‘LEGEND’ has allerted us to the quintuplet of the clan!

Quadruplet Alan RickmanAlan Rickman of Hans Gruber fame (I think I know who the Sextuplet is going to be…)


Filed under Humour, Separated at birth

Heppell, Thomas, Socko and ????

Stop the press!

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, Glen Smooker from team ‘SMOOKS’ has brought it to our attention that indeed there is a 4th member of the HEPPELL, THOMAS, SOCKO triplets. Please meet the

quadruplet of the clan:

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Filed under Humour, Separated at birth, Smooks, SOCKO, Uncategorized