Monthly Archives: May 2011

Collingwood & the Pendlebury Controversy

There’s only one thing better than Collingwood losing by less than a goal…

…and that’s when they lose by less than a goal controversially!

Suffer in ya jocks sooky, sooky Collingwood.

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Filed under Collingwood, editorials, Humour, sooky Collingwood supporters

The Frog and Golf

The Frog and Golf


A man takes the day off work and
Decides to go out golfing.

He is on the second hole when he
Notices a frog sitting next to the green.


He thinks nothing of it and is
About to shoot when he Hears,


Ribbit 9 Iron.’


The man looks around and doesn’t
See anyone.


Again, he hears, ‘Ribbit 9 Iron.’


He looks at the frog and decides to
Prove the frog wrong, puts the
Club away, and grabs a 9 iron.


Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the
cup.


He is shocked.


He says to the frog,

‘Wow that’s amazing.
You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies,
‘Ribbit Lucky frog.’

The man decides to take the frog
with him to the next hole.

‘What do you think frog?’
The man asks.


‘Ribbit 3 wood.’

The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
Boom! Hole in one.


The man is befuddled and doesn’t know
What to say.


By the end of the day, the man golfed the
Best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog,


‘OK where to next?’


The frog replies,

‘Ribbit Crown Casino..


They go to the Casino

and the guy says,
‘OK frog, now What?’


The frog says, ‘Ribbit Roulette.’


Upon approaching the roulette table,


The man asks,

‘What do you think I should Bet?’


The frog replies,

‘Ribbit $3000, black 6.’

Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
Figures what the heck.

Boom!


Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the Hotel.


He sits the frog down and Says,

‘Frog, I don’t know how to repay you.
You’ve won me all this money and
I am forever grateful.’


The frog replies,
‘Ribbit KissMe.’



He figures why not,
Since after all the frog did for Him,
He deserves it.


With a kiss, the frog turns into a
young 17-year-old girl.


‘And that,


your honor, is how the girl
ended up in my room.


So help me God,
Or my name is not Ricky Nixon.’


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Filed under Humour, ingo, Rick E Nixon

Correction from your tipsmaster.

Dear DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipsters.
 
It has been brought to my attention that an error has occured in round 6 of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. Even more alarming is that your tipsmaster is the culprit of the mistake…
 
Hard to believe, I know but maybe it is sheer evidence that I am only a little more superior than you cretins, rather than a lot more superior.

You see, I’m struggling to come to terms with the format of fixturing in this 2011 season. Some rounds have 8 games, others have only 7.
 
I am guilty of assuming that the winner of the jackpot for selecting 8 winners should be the tipster who picks 8 winners.
 
Alas – as you will all now be aware, round 6 contained only 7 matches and no less than 6 tipsters pick all 7 games correct. SOUPIE, PADDOSTIVA, POMMIE, LEGEND, and OUR MITZ
 
I can appreciate that you have all been behaving yourselves of late so I am going to reward those tipsters who select all matches correctly each round, regardless of if there are 5,6,7 or 8 matches for that round. Such is the kind heartedness of your tipsmaster
 
A round of applause for your tipsmaster please…
 
The six tipsters who selected the 7 winners correctly shall all share in the $15.00 that was on offer for round 6 meaning that you are all now the proud owners of $2.50 each. Let me know how you would like to claim your booty, or I can make a note of it on file and let the winnings accumulate until the end of the season. Alternatively, for those of you who are that way inclined, you can have a sip of my beer in lieu of payment if you so desire (please brush your teeth first).
 
This means that the jackpot for round 7 is now back to $5.00
 
I regret the error and inconvenience this has caused but not enough to say sorry.
 
Carry on…

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Filed under administration, col, competitions, Tipsmaster, Tipsters