DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipstress Nadia Suric from team BYRD has compiled a list of ridiculous quotes from the brainiacs of our AFL Football world.
Please enjoy these quotes painstakingly compiled by out Italian Correspondent and DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP legend, BYRD
Following an impressive, momentous, if not striking opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics, without further ado let us review our own footy athletes and their not so memorable comments that leaves some of us mere mortals gob smacked!
As we are leaning towards the finals, let us all reminiscence and look back on some of the most amusing if not ridiculous quotes from these so called Masters of the Universe….Not!
Our very own footballers and their merry men leave nothing to the imagination.
Some of the diatribe that is verbalized by these knuckleheads will make William Shakespeare turn over his grave in an instant with his quill pen in his hand while thrusting an accusing finger of disapproval to these nincompoops.
Are they all really that stupid and simpleminded? Quite frankly….Yes!
Let me amuse and entertain you all with the following:
In the beginning when this past master transferred to the world of sports commentary, unbelievably Dermott (“Bimbo”) Brereton let out with this cracker – “Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.”(Dermott Brereton) followed by arithmetically – “That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical”
North Melbourne (God! I hate them)
“King Shit” Carey egotistically declares – “Their activity basically boils down to a learning exercise – they do a wide variety of things. We’ve been real fortunate to have them as time got along, we’ve had more and more participants”
Sexual participants Moron?
Q. What’s the difference between Skippy and Wayne Carey?
A: Skippy can root whoever he likes and still be a kangaroo!
Revulsion by compulsion.
As the football world now knows it, sudden death has reared its ugly head for this club.
One humiliating loss to a club that is nothing but a hoax and a bloody joke, you’re well and truly stuffed!
Former Port President Brett (“Cry Baby”) Duncanson has tearfully quoted in reference to former Port Coach Matthew (“Expired and Retired’) Primus – “He’s a club legend, you don’t shit on your club legends.”
Oh yes we do!
Drug Baron Ben Cousins Joke:
Q. Have you heard about the Cousins Burger Meal?
A. It comes with free coke.
Unashamedly this clown has publicized – “I am going to launch into and annihilate as many recreational drugs as possible”
Beyond repair and restoration.
Mick (“The Wise One”) Malthouse truthfully professes about his former club – “They seem to be a bit all over the place … they don’t seem to be able to kick long.
Followed by – “They will win games, but I don’t think they’ll win enough games to make the top eight.”
Ending with – “I know the club (is) finding it very difficult.”
Astute, insightful and perceptive quotes indeed.
Elementary my Dear Maestro.
My speculation on the brainless Jonathan (“Lost in Translation”) Brown proves worthy of my deduction especially his IQ of 0.00000.
That bonehead ignoramus actually quoted – “It’s basically the same, just darker.” (Jonathan Brown) on night Grand Finals vs. Day Games.
On the Footy Show after the shock loss with the “Gold Coast Bums” on the 12th of May 2011 – incredibly numb skull conceded – “I’m angry, I’ve been eating soup for 7 weeks, mate, so don’t get on me bloody nerves!”
Summing up with this masterpiece of sheer brilliance, again on the Footy Show dated the 26th of June 2011 after going for his 10th surgery for multiple facial fractures in Round 1 against the Dockers, inconceivably Brown stammered with – “I don’t run on me face”
Where would I have been without him?
No doubt this dunderhead has kept me inspired and wired for years.
Mark Neeld has been sitting patiently in the gallows biding time.
Stubbornly he will not accept the pitfall that has befallen on the Dees.
The noose is already tied to a tight knot around Neeld’s neck.
All someone has to do is kick that chair from underneath him.
Cease the suffering once and for all…time to move on.
Refusing to surrender, stubbornly he laments – “We’ve had two and a half games we thought were really poor efforts, but in among that there’s been some competitive efforts we’ve been pleased with.
Recently, Judd worming his way out of a lengthy suspension for the “Chicken Wing” incident 2012 – “I’m not trying to wriggle out of this,” Judd said in evidence at the Tribunal. ”It was certainly an unintended consequence of what I wanted to do. Football is an instinctive game. You have a thought and that thought is followed by an action.”
Against his better judgment in 2009 Chris “I am stupid” Judd registered his actions by admitting – I was pushing my thumb into the pressure point behind his ear,” he said.
Ah What the?….
Cocky Brenton Sanderson boasts – ‘We haven’t got our head in the clouds, we’re not talking premierships, we’re not talking how we’re going to go in the finals,” he said. ”We’re focusing on our next opponent. The experts can talk about finals if they want, but our focus will be purely on getting the job done against Essendon.”
Oh! The pain!…The pain!…. Sorry Maestro.
On that note, a quote that leaves us all stupefied by this meaningless tone is by none other than Andrew “Gaddafi” Demetriou
“If history repeats itself, I should think we could expect the same thing again.”
God help us!