Monthly Archives: September 2012

Who’s in the Box o’beer box seat?

Here we are at the business end tipsters and I know you are all happy for me.

You see, your tipsmaster is equal first in the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP all important race for the slab of your choice (to the value of VB) in the battle for the finals series winner glory thing…

And let me tell you tipsters. I’m getting thirsty!

Others in the running for the slab of your choice (to the value of VB) are:

BUSTLING BASIL on top and in the undisputed box o’ beer box seat.

NICH 1147 (who I am sure would love to share the slab of his choice to the value of VB with his mate Col…)

AAA AUSSIE MAL (the King of Speights Old Mac)

Last season’s slab of your choice to the value of VB winner IAN WALSH from team SKINFUL

HOOTER – say no more – Hooter and your tipsmaster are as thick as thieves and I can feel a sip coming my way should Hooter win the slab of beer to the value of VB

BYRD – I am very pleased to see that our Italian correspondent and wordsmithtress extraodinaire BYRD is in line for the slab of her choice (to the value of VB)  because I know she would love to share her spoils with her very loyal tipsmaster. Acclamazioni tipstress Byrd. Vediamo l’ora di assaggiare la birra!

OUR MITZ. Who better to win the slab of her choice (to the value of VB) than your tipsmaster’s own sister. I reckon she owes me a beer too – just for old times’ sake…

ETHAN DAVEY. My young bloke’s bestest mate would love to share the slab of his choice (to the value of VB) with his tipstmaster. Especially since he inadvertantly shared his tipsmaster’s six pack of beer father’s day present only a few weeks ago…

EL MORGANEZ – not sure if El Morganez would prefer the slab of beer (to the value of VB) or a bottle of tequila complete with worm (or scorpion as I experienced first hand the other night) Looking forward to saluting El Morganez with a celebratory something…

PEAR. One of the worlds’ great potential slab of his choice (to the value of VB) winners. Scenes we’d like to see – Pear with the watery eyes after indulging the slab of his choice (to the value of VB) in extra quick time.

These are our tipsters in the Grand Final box o’ beer box seat.

Too exciting for words tipsters.


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Filed under competitions, editorials


DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster Steve Wills from team POSSUM BOY has sent us this little beauty. The Hawks’ WEE & POO mascots.


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Filed under Hawthorn, Humour, stiva, Wee & Poo

Frank Sinatra and Mick Malthouse – partners in verse.

penned a verse celebrating the arrival of Mick Malthouse 
to 'THE MOB' at Carlscum.
Malthouse is in good company within 'THE MOB' as BYRD's 
song to the tune of Frankie Sinatra's 'New York, New York' 
will demonstrate.

BYRD: Here is my version of ol' blue eyes classic 
(New York New York)
Enjoy this with a glass of Martini 
with two olives just like Frankie.

Start spreading the news
I've joined today
I have been poached to coach 
New Club... New Club...

Collingmaguirevomitshitwood are screwed
Ed and Bucks have had their say
I am going to shove it back at them!
New Club... New Club...

I will march in and conquer VISY
That stadium is now all mine!
And know that I'm King of all Kings
Yeah! Ed and Bucks Damn swines!

My new town Blues
"Sticks" and crew are all happy today
I'm gonna make a damn good start of it
In the New Club... New Club...

If I can make it there
I'll make it bloody anywhere
It's up to me...Yes! me
New Club...New Club...

Tipsmaster's note: A beautiful rendition indeed BYRD, 
creative, imaginative, well versed...a complete 
It's just a great pity that I have had an absolute 
gutful of Mick Malthouse and the way the footy world 
asks his opinion on everything as though he was some 
sort of a messiah.
Carlton and Malthouse...they deserve each other.

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Filed under Byrd, carlton, Poetry, Theme songs

DON SCOTT suffers Wee & Poo fashion syndrome illness.




We all remember the tough guy of the 70’s and 80’s, Hawthorn’s rugged captain, Don Scott. Scott was tough, he was brutal, he had pointy elbows and a chin you wanted to whack if you could run away fast enough.

Understandably when Don Scott retired, he like many of his Hawthorn team mates were disorientated and confused with their fashion sense and struggled to fit back in to mainstream society after disrobing the Wee & Poo Hawthorn colours and the WYNVALE skivvies.

As seen here Scott was so mentally scarred by the fashion disaster he had been adjorned with in his playing days, he reverted to a man-bag and cravat in his bid to be in vogue.

The passing of time has not cured Don Scott’s fashion ailment and dress sense disasters as was displayed on Mike Sheahan’s tv show ‘OPEN MIKE’ this week. One can only feel pity for those Hawthorn stars who are afflicted with a life time of distress and anguish, not knowing where their next outfit will lead them as they battle the illness of post career Wee & Poo fashion syndrome.


Don Scott pic’s lovingly sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster PEAR.

Footy card pic

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Filed under bad footy cards, Hawthorn, Humour, Wee & Poo


What do you get when you mix Essendon’s Dyson Heppell with Melbourne’s Lynden Dunn?

One of the funniest things I have ever seen, that’s what.

Lovingly sent to us by DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, Bruce Clarke from team PEAR

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Filed under Dees, Essendon, Humour, Separated at birth



Judester won the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP for the second time. Judester is one of our oldest…err…longest serving tipsters in the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP and always performs well in her tipstering, whether she is winning the competition or simply taking the jackpot as she did in round 8 earlier this year. Judester is also one of our best recruiters who along with her husband HOOTER, they both lure plenty of unassuming and unsuspecting new tipsters each season. JUDESTER pocketed $730.20 for her first prize.

Well done JUDESTER a very worthy winner indeed.


Second place went to Glen Clarke of team MOOSEBOY. Glen is also a previous winner of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. On his first occasion of excellence, (back in the days of tipstering via fax machine), your tipsmaster played a bit of a game with MOOSEBOY and told him on the following Monday that MOOSEBOY had failed to submit his tips. Hence he had been awarded the away teams and failed to win the prize. Well MOOSEBOY went off his nut, blaming his wife for not sending the fax and really going into a tyradical rampage! (funny as…)

Anyway your tipsmaster later fessed up to MOOSEBOY and told him we were pulling his leg and that he really had won the prize. Plenty of chuckling was shared by all on that occasion! This year, MOOSEBOY had a stumble at the final hurdle and finished in second place with a prize packet booty of $304.25 Well done MOOSEBOY.


Third prize went to Chris Plant of team OLD SANTA –  a tipster who is always up around the top of the tipping table at the business end because he does know his footy. Although one would doubt his world famous footy scoops, such as the time he heard on the radio that Paul Salmon was a late withdrawl from the game, regardless of the fact that Salmon had just run through the banner with the rest of his team mates! OLD SANTA has won $121.70 for his third prize. Well done OLD SANTA


Our booby prize went to a very worthy winner in DANIEL CLARKE (son of Glen) At 17 years of age, Daniel is one of our youngsters in the tipping comp but has been with us for about 10 seasons. Daniel has been a prize winner before and I think this season’s strategy of forgetting to submit his tips most weeks has proven most lucrative for him as he will pocket $60.85 for finishing 3rd last. Well done Daniel.

Keep submitting your tips for the finals series tipsters where the tipster with the most correct selections after the finals series will win a slab of beer of your choice (to the value of VB)

At the end of the season I will publish a full list of all winners, including jackpot winners.

Stand by!

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Filed under competitions, Judester, RESULTS, TIPS