You are all familiar with the AFL HALL OF FAME?
Well, Our Italian Correspondents BYRD, CONTESSA MANSKI & UNCLE EV have made their list of the AFL HALL OF SHAME
They are known as the heroes on the field, but why does trouble seem to follow these players after the siren.
These men put their bodies on the line every time they run out, what pushes these elite sportsmen to play competitive football likewise lures them to their downfall off the field as well.
This year hall of shame we chose a comprehensive list of sporting individuals who have made headlining contributions in the AFL based on their inability of the game, corruption, deceit, dishonor and disgrace.
Who will be inducted in our hall of shame for leaving us a memorable if not legendary status that has left a significant impact on the game of Australian Rules football with such a collision force that will be etched in our memories for a very long time?
David “Davo” Granger – has struggled off field for quite some time with his numerous court appearances. It was made known to the sporting media in December 2001 that he was involved in the possession of 17 kilograms of cannabis police have discovered in his own home. Subsequently Davo was imprisoned for four years and three months.
Commendable for our Hall of Shame?…We’re still deciding.
Jason “Big Mouth Strikes Again!” Akermanis – is someone with a big mouth who doesn’t know when to keep his loathsome trap shut. Akermanis has been accused for insensitive and offensive remarks; including accusing an opponent player using performance-enhancing drugs in 2007.
Should Aker win?…He still won’t shut up!
Brendan “Casino Royale” Fevola – Fev was so talented on the field but incredibly audacious off it. He was accused of spraying a woman in the face with a fire extinguisher, kicked out of the Crown Casino complex with a black eye in March 2004, sent home from Australia’s tour of Ireland assaulting a barman in Galway, was censored for a drunken rampage at the 2008 Brownlow Medal. Oh and let’s not forget a nude photo with bikini model Lara “Dingbat” Bingle.
Finally, in 2013 Fev declares himself bankrupt.
Worthy winner?…Read on.
Eddie “Bonehead” Maguire for his recent “playful banter” on Monday the 13th of June 2016 about drowning AFL journalist Caroline “Caro” Wilson during a charity event – The Big Freeze into an ice bath at the MCG and paying even more money if she stayed under ironically during white ribbon week that was launched preventing domestic violence against women.
This chauvinistic pig should not be inducted for anything, he belongs in the sewer.
Jimbo “The Vanishing Man” Hird – since April 2013, the damage this swine has caused with the supplements saga to the Bombers is totally and utterly unforgivable. As a senior coach he let the club down, the players as well as their extended families including their very dedicated supporters. It will take some time for the wounds to heal. Jimbo’s fall from grace is well and truly deserved.
Is Jimbo the title-holder?…
Chris “Tyrant” Tarrant – The Magpie turned Docker was accused of baring his backside at a woman and punching then AFL coach at the Northern Territory Institute of Sport Damian Hale after Hale confronted Tarrant about his behavior at a Darwin night club in June 2007.
Fremantle referred the matter to the AFL which fined Tarrant $5000 and imposed a three month match ban.
Tarrant was also involved in a brawl outside a Port Melbourne nightclub with a Collingmaguire teammate in July 2008.
Is it him?…A bit iffy at this stage.
Gary “God” Ablett Senior – A “God” on the field, off the field Ablett has battled his fair share of Demons as well. In 1980’s he already had convictions for assault and burglary, pleaded guilty in assaulting a pizza deliveryman. In February 2000, a 20 year old tragically died in her idol Ablett’s company in a Melbourne hotel room after consuming a lethal cocktail of drugs. Ablett Senior was later fined $1500 for using and possessing heroin and ecstasy.
Gold Coast Bums
Campbell “Bangkok Hilton” Brown – and his mate were detained after allegedly getting involved in a fight with a Thai policeman during an off-season trip in September 2011.
Luckily the players were released without charge.
Idiot file. Does not qualify!
GWS (Geez! Which State?)
Kevin “Reviewing His Situation” Sheedy – He really isn’t shameful in the aspect of coaching, his credentials are quite impressive as a senior coach with the Essendon football club.
Sheedy’s shame file is taking on as senior coach for Greater Western Shitney when he should have retired instead.
We will disqualify Sheedy. He does not meet our criteria.
Dermot “Goldilocks” Brereton – For ten years he has been playing with the Hawks, then he defected to Shitney in 1994. As we are still trying to come to terms with the sudden departure to an interstate team, to our horror, he breaks faith and ends up playing for Collingmaguirewood before hanging up his boots for good.
Unforgivable! Brereton is on definitely on our shame file list.
Gary “The Wolf” Lyon – Never ever ever betray your best friend. Lyon’s public fall was humiliating, sad, sudden and swift. The media had a field day, as this once much loved legendary football captain and a very respectful sports and TV commentator did the unthinkable. If only he could turn back time.
Sorry Gazza you’re name is on our list as well.
Wayne “Miami Vice” Carey – Who could ever forget that mug shot of Carey in Miami. He was arrested in the US after breaking a wine glass in girlfriend’s Kate Neilson’s face.
The king of AFL proved to be a dirty rascal when his affair with his best mate Anthony “Stevie” Stevens’ wife Kell was revealed. Carey was also charged with assault in 1996 for grabbing a woman’s breast. In 2008 Carey was subdued with capsicum spray by police responding to a domestic violence report in Port Melbourne.
Shame file? We’re still undecided.
David “Kochie” Koch – The less said about this smarmy chairman the better.
Without a doubt a strong contender for the Hall Of Shame, he is incredibly aggravating moreover unsupportive towards his club.
Should he win?…
Daniel “Drongo” Connors was infamously punched by then Richmond teammate Ben Cousins in April 2010 and landed an eight-week suspension, then a 12-week ban in October 2011 due to further behavioural issues. The last straw came in July 2012 for sleeping through a training session.
Lost cause. Could he be the winner?
Barry “Big Bad Bazza” Hall in an incident which shocked Sydney and West Coast Eagles fans alike was slapped with a seven week suspension by the AFL Tribunal for his sickening on-field king hit on then West Coast Eagles Brent Staker in Round 4 April 2008.
Bonkers maybe the winner…
Lazar “Law And Order” Vidovic – Former St Kilda ruck man was suffering post football blues when he forged a magistrate’s signature in 2004.
What idiot would even attempt to do something so incredibly stupid and defy the law?
Not sure about this one, he’s probably forged his name on the Hall of Shame certificate.
West Coast Eagles
Ben “Dope Opiate” Cousins – Brilliant on field a complete nutter by his off-field indiscretions. A fight with his teammate in a Perth nightclub in 2002 and ends up breaking his arm after being pushed down the stairs. Embroiled in a Police investigation into a Perth shooting in 2005, revealing gangland connections; fled a booze bus in Perth in February 2008 and was arrested for being drunk outside Crown Casino in December 2008.
Cousins was suspended for 12 months by the AFL for bringing the game into disrepute, March 2015, Cousins broke into a high security SAS facility, involved in two separate low-speed car pursuits, one with a foot chase through suburban streets and onto rooftops.
To this day, Cousins continues to struggle with a debilitating drug addiction.
Such is life branded on his abdomen.
And the tosser is….
Adam “Rush Hour” Cooney and his Doggies’ caused havoc in Hong Kong’s nightclub district during an end of season trip in 2010. Colourfully dressed players stopped cars in the street, with Adam “Jackie Chan” Cooney opening one of the car’s doors to prevent it from continuing on.
Who will be inducted in our Hall Of Shame?
The winner for the most disgraceful, disgusting, scandalous and vile act within AFL history is drum roll…