Our Italian Correspondents BYRD, CONTESSA MANSKI & UNCLE EV are wondering who to blame for the errors, losses and misfortunes in our great game. Should we blame it on the Boogie?
It really commences with the initial match every Friday evening, the opening game for the round.
Friday night football at the MCG.
Cosing up in front of the telly in your jim jams, with a bottle of Carlton Draught, not forgetting some good ol’ take away – Fish n’ Chips from your local Chippery.
The first goal for the evening is accurately kicked, the blame game suddenly begins.
Out of frustration you spill your beer and your bottle smashes on to the floor into millions of pieces.
What is the first thing that comes out of our mouths without hesitation?…
The worst possible abuse, blasphemy and insult humanly imaginable.
Just as well it is in the comfort of your own living room, no need to worry about being apprehended by the officials, the prospect of being seized by members of your own family is highly likely.
Into the know of the competitive world of AFL footy, the resolution is not a quick fix by mopping up some beer and eating your prized soggy Fish n’ Chips, the repercussions are a lot more serious.
Reputations will be destroyed, instant dismissals, humiliation including the downward spiral of that crevasse of the AFL ladder with the pale rider happily waving that bloody wooden spoon.
Blame it on the coach? Blame it on their players’ kicking skills? Blame it on the rain? Blame it on Zeus the Apollo and Adonis?
Or is it the senior coaches’ including their players’ that just can’t seem to control their feet?
Brendon “Thor!” Bolton was in no mood for any inspirational pep talks with his Blue boys prior to this game, just some cold hard facts: “Sometimes, not saying anything is the best answer”.
“Correct me when I’m wrong Bolts, but don’t correct me when you are!” Ken “Kinky” Hinkley intervened, irritating Bolton even further.
“Boys, if you don’t do your part, don’t blame God!” Luke “St. Luke” Beveridge evangelized to his beloved Bulldogs.
Tuning in on “St. Luke’s” sermon, Chris “Reviewing The Situation” Fagan snorted in disgust: “You’re opinion is not my reality”.
“Listen Rodney, you can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue in their own actions.” Don “Is Don…Is Good!” Pyke lectured, convinced that this match was going to be an easy victory.
“I’m only responsible for what I say not what you understand!” barked Rodney “Rocket” Eade.
GWS (Geez!…Which State?)
“Stop looking for someone to blame and bloody well fix it!” Leon “King Of Leon” Cameron disgraced Johnno, relishing the fact that his defeated Swans are still languishing beneath the crypt of the AFL ladder
“Maybe so Leo, you seem to be only clever at shifting the blame from your own shoulders to those of others.” John “Here’s Johnny!” Longmire shielded, clutching at every feasible hope longing for that miraculous win.
“Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on others, only your game and preparation plans can change to the degree that you accept full responsibility for it.” Ross “No Longer The Boss” Lyon disciplined.
“You’re right, but we cannot sit and stare at our wounds forever.” Brad “Beam Me Down Scotty” Scott sulked, pouting his lower lip, shedding a tear.
“Do it now or forever wish you had”. Insisted Chris “Beam Me Up Scotty” Scott to his unstoppable Cats.
Obviously peeved by their triumphant formula, Alan “You Can Call Me Al” Richardson rudely scolded: “Oh I’m sorry Christopher, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
West Coast Eagles
Adam “Go West!” Simpson was remorseless with this reality: “Don’t play the victim to circumstances you have created”.
“It’s always my fault isn’t it?” Alistair “Angry Little Man” Clarkson wailed, tugging at his hair.
“It’s always the ones with the filthy hands pointing the fingers”. Damien “Hardly” Hardwick was incredibly smug, for how much longer, only time will certainly tell.
Certifying that Damo needed therapy in behaviourism issues, Simon “Simon Says” Goodwin was transparent with his thank-you note: “Cancel my subscriptions because I am done with your issues”.
John “The Other Johnny” Worsfold knew Bucks was wired for an all out total war, attacking his Bombers’, Worsfold went in for the kill: “I didn’t say it was your fault I said I was going to blame you for everything!”
“My attitude is as a result of your actions! If you don’t like my attitude, blame yourselves! Nathan “Sure As Hell I’m Gonna Be Sacked!” Buckley stormed off in his customarily charismatic nature.
Actually we know who is really to blame for this entire flurry and ruffle…
Blame it on the Boogie.