Hitchhikers’ Guide To Shanghai…Giro Numero Otto …(Round 8)…


Our Italian Correspondents BYRD, CONTESSA MANSKI and UNCLE EV are taking us on a Hitch hikers guide to Shangai…

An historic event will take place this weekend for Australian Rules football.

Specifically this is the AFL’s Chinese expedition in their hope to capture a slice of China’s lucrative sports market.

Port Adelaide and the Gold Coast Bums will clash this Sunday at “Jiangwan” Sports Stadium in Shanghai.

Sporting media have reported that both teams have already started their preparations, while more than 5,000 fans have descended on Shanghai ahead of the clash between Port Adelaide and the Gold Coast Bums with the stadium’s 10,000 seats already sold out, those lucky enough to witness this consequential if not momentous event.

On Sunday Port Adelaide will reveal their new sponsor, as part of their windfall Chinese-linked sponsorship deals that the club says has been a two-year negotiating process in the making.

AFL executive Travis “Trav” Auld announced that the game would be broadcast live on China’s state media channel CCTV.

This gives the game the potential to be the most watched game in the history of this code.


This is the match that we all seem to be talking about.


Interestingly enough, these senior club coaches were not short of their own opinions about the journey across the sea.


Here are some of their thoughts.


West Coast Eagles


Adam “Go West!” Simpson envious of this missed opportunity grumbling: “Adventure, yeah, I guess that’s what you call when you come back alive.”


Making the sign of the cross, Luke “St. Luke” Beveridge vowed: “He who travels happy must travel light.”




Alistair “Angry Little Man” Clarkson was defiant: “The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.”


Annoyed, Chris “Reviewing The Situation” Fagan instructed: “Stop worrying about the potholes on the road and enjoy the journey.”





Brendon “Thor!” Bolton joked to his Blue boys: “What travels around the world but stay in one corner? A stamp.”


Self-satisfied, Alan “You Can Call Me Al” Richardson barked: “How about a stamp on your forehead to destination nowhere!”


GWS (Geez!…Which State?)


Leon “King Of Leon” Cameron cautioned: “Life is not a fairytale boys, if you lose your shoes at midnight, you’re drunk!”


Beaten and exhausted, Nathan “Sure As Hell I’m Gonna Be Sacked!” Buckley confessed: “If you are going through hell, keep going.”




Chris “Beam Me Up Scotty” Scotty did not want to jeopardized his Cats with potential breathing difficulties: “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”


John “The Other Johnny” Worsfold warned: “Be advised, there is no parking in Shanghai.”




Don “Is Don…Is Good!” Pyke had some concerns, questioning: “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to anyone?”


Simon “Simon Says” Goodwin adding: “The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”




Resentful Ross “No Longer The Boss” Lyon griped: “Never trust anything you read in a travel magazine.”


Navigating a possible trip to who knows where, Damien “Hardly” Hardwick was en-route:

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list!”


Port Adelaide


Ken “Kinky” Hinkley had it all mapped out: “We are all time travelers at the speed of 60 minutes per hour.”


Rodney “Rocket!” Eade has already had a gutful stating: “It’s easier to find a traveling companion than get rid of one!”


North Melbourne


Brad “Beam Me Down Scotty” Scott had a theory: There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either you have diarrhea or you are anxious to meet people who do.”


“Bradley, your seats have been secured at the back of a bus to an unspecified place, that is how you will be feeling when this game is over.” Laughed John “Here’s Johnny!” Longmire.



Remember folks, travel safely, and don’t leave home without them!








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