Never Gonna Give You Up!…Giro Numero Quattordici…(Round 14)…


Our Italian Correspondents BYRD, CONTESSA MANSKI & UNCLE EV are polishing their coaching daggers but maintain they are ‘Never gonna give you up’

More than half way into this season it’s the conversation of the security of some coaches’ jobs again as a hot topic.

Most fans are buoyant about their side’s chances at making a finals push or even a premiership inclination, but for some, the talk around their club is centered on the coach and his future.

Nathan “Definitely A Gonner!” Buckley, Brad “Beam Me Down Below Scotty” Scott, and Alistair “Big Mouth Strikes Again!” Clarkson are the men who are feeling the heat at this very moment.

Bucks is refusing to give up finals despite the Magpies 31-point defeat at the hands of Port Adelaide on Sunday.

The Pies are in their fourth consecutive year without finals, a grim reality for the club.

Scott dropped a bombshell in the AFL football world along with his faithful supporters by culling four beloved club veterans last season.

Now he is swallowing the bitterest pill in his coaching career for ruthlessly giving the bum’s rush to arguably North Melbourne’s best veterans in the club ever to pull on a Kangaroo Guernsey.

Clarko has being fined a whopping $20,000 for his umpire spray recently, adding to his woes,

Alistair was once renowned for being considered one of the best senior coaches of his time. He is now grappling with the impending plausibility that his flightless Hawks could possibly be crowned with the raspberry prize of the AFL since 1965 …that bloody wooden spoon!


Safe guarding their validity within their own clubs, the other AFL senior coaches are fighting for their rights to hold on to what they have still got…a job!




Don “Is Don…Is Good!” Pyke: “I’m not gonna give up, shut up or let up until I’m taken up, as a matter of fact I’m just warming up.”


Alistair “Big Mouth Strikes Again!” Clarkson: “I’m allowed to scream and cry, but I won’t  f*****g give up!”




John “Here’s Johnny!” Longmire: “Never ever give up unless there is something good on TV…me!”


John “The Other Johnny” Worsfold: “Life is too short to have to work along with a mutton head like you.”



Port Adelaide


Ken “Kinky” Hinkley to Buckley: “Before you give up, think of the reason why you held on for so bloody long.”


Nathan “Definitely A Gonner!” Buckley painfully confessed: “There’s a difference between giving up and just not wanting to take someone’s shit anymore!”


GWS (Geez! Which State?)


Leon “King Of Leon” Cameron: “Ever tried, ever failed, no matter try again. Fail again. Fail better.”


Chris “Reviewing The Situation” Fagan: “There’s a difference between in giving up and knowing when you have had enough!”


Western Bulldogs


Luke “St. Luke” Beveridge: “Give up your ego Bradley and you will find God!”


Brad “Beam Me Down Below Scotty” Scott: “Give my regards to your holiness, I never tried quitting and I never quit trying!”




Simon “Simon Says” Goodwin eloquently had this to say just before kick off in way out west:

“Thou shalt not stress over the opinion of an irrelevant little shit!”


Adam “Go West!” Simpson skillfully barked: “I will not let anyone walk in my mind with their dirty feet. No what I mean?”




Chris “Beam Me Up Scotty” Scott bluntly had this to say: “Fear is a habit; so is self pity, defeat, anxiety and despair. It is what it is. I’m never ever giving up!”


“Rubbish Christopher! Even if others give up on you, never give up on yourself, that is the determination, power, strength to thrive in this game.” Scolded Ross “No Longer The Boss” Lyon.




Surrendering definitely is not on Brendon “Thor!” Bolton watch.

He is not even bothered about the insecurity of his job. With his trademark Cheshire cat grin, Bolts sang merrily to this tune on the way to the MCG: “Twinkle Twinkle little star, point me to the nearest bar.”


Damian “Hardly” Hardwick: “Of course I always talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.” Concluding: “Through my own consultation and recommendation, when you’re giving up, someone is still going.”


St Kilda


Alan “You Can Call Me Al” Richardson: “I am a skilled professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent in sarcasm.”


Rodney “Rocket” Eade: “I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times just to be sure.”


Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna turn you round and desert you.


We’ll see.



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