Our Italian Correspondents BYRD, CONTESSA MANSKI and UNCLE EV have the AFL coaching fraternity looking over their shoulders as they ask who could be next to get the old heave ho…
As we have all predicted, the first axe has fallen at the Gold Coast Bums with Rodney “Rocket” Eade being sacked as a senior coach late Monday evening.
Former Essendon premiership player Dean “Salmon” Solomon is to take over for the Gold Coast Bums for the remainder of this season.
Bums chairman – Tony “Norman Gunston” Cochrane said that: The wins-loss ratio is not what we want it to be, not even close.”
Adding: “While there are difficult decisions to make, we need to focus on a future under a new senior coach.”
Chief executive – Mark “Shark” Evans admitted that Eade was clearly disappointed when he told him the news after the meeting, having called around Eade’s house where they shared a glass of wine or two.
Last drinks anyone?
Eade admitted that he would not have taken on the job in late 2014 had he know the true state of the club.
For example: off-field scandal, a wretched injury list, the departures of talented players and a trade request from star player – Gary “Gazza The Dazzler” Ablett Jnr.
Eade was told on Monday night that he would not have his contract renewed for 2018.
Regrettably, this is the sign of times in this cut throat sporting industry of ours, win and your in, lose and your well and truly screwed.
How would this lot react if they were given their marching orders?
Luke “St. Luke” Beveridge had an accepting if not a distinguished approach: “I understand, it is now in God’s hands.”
“Yeah well, we’re gonna be short staffed today.” Leon “King Of Leon” Cameron made certain he was indispensable to the executives of the club.
John “Here’s Johnny!” Longmire is no quitter: “I’m not fired! You’re fired!”
Ross “No Longer The Boss” Lyon finally confessed: ”Not sure if I hate my job or just hate working.”
Chris “Beam Me Up Scotty” Scott had only this to say: “You will never find another me!”
Damian “Hardly” Hardwick prepared himself for the inevitable: “Due to my current workload, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off until further notice!”
Gold Coast Bums
Shocked and stunned by the Bums Board brutality, Rodney “Rocket!” Eade brazenly concluded: “Take this job and shove it!”
“I’d have better leadership skills if I worked with better people.” Examined Chris “Reviewing The Situation” Fagan.
Don “Is Don…Is Good!” Pyke without reserve blasted: “Feed your own ego. I’m busy!”
John “The Other Johnny!” Worsfold spat: “Sorry I annoyed you all by just doing my job.”
West Coast Eagles
Adam “Go West!” Simpson reminded who indeed is the smart one: “The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people like you lot.”
Motivationally speaking, Brendon “Thor!” Bolton lectured the following on his swift departure: “Telling me how to do my job really motivates me…to shove my foot up all your arses!”
Alan “You Can Call Me Al” Richardson reasoned: “ I can only please one person today. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
“I am putting you all on my to-do list!” Threatened Simon “Simon Says” Goodwin to the Board of Directors.
Alistair “Big Mouth Strikes Again!” Clarkson took matters in his own hands: “I can’t come into work today, because I’m so sick of this shit!”
Justifying his abysmal performance with his clumsy Roos, Brad “Beam Me Way Down Below Scotty” Scott lamented: “People like you were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.”
Without a care in the world, Ken “Kinky” Hinkley stated: “You know what that sounds like?
Not my problem!”
Nathan “Hasta La Vista” Buckley reveals: “It’s just not worth the jail time.”
Makes you want to serenade you boss with this fine tune over loud speakers.