Category Archives: col

Correction from your tipsmaster.

Dear DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipsters.
 
It has been brought to my attention that an error has occured in round 6 of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. Even more alarming is that your tipsmaster is the culprit of the mistake…
 
Hard to believe, I know but maybe it is sheer evidence that I am only a little more superior than you cretins, rather than a lot more superior.

You see, I’m struggling to come to terms with the format of fixturing in this 2011 season. Some rounds have 8 games, others have only 7.
 
I am guilty of assuming that the winner of the jackpot for selecting 8 winners should be the tipster who picks 8 winners.
 
Alas – as you will all now be aware, round 6 contained only 7 matches and no less than 6 tipsters pick all 7 games correct. SOUPIE, PADDOSTIVA, POMMIE, LEGEND, and OUR MITZ
 
I can appreciate that you have all been behaving yourselves of late so I am going to reward those tipsters who select all matches correctly each round, regardless of if there are 5,6,7 or 8 matches for that round. Such is the kind heartedness of your tipsmaster
 
A round of applause for your tipsmaster please…
 
The six tipsters who selected the 7 winners correctly shall all share in the $15.00 that was on offer for round 6 meaning that you are all now the proud owners of $2.50 each. Let me know how you would like to claim your booty, or I can make a note of it on file and let the winnings accumulate until the end of the season. Alternatively, for those of you who are that way inclined, you can have a sip of my beer in lieu of payment if you so desire (please brush your teeth first).
 
This means that the jackpot for round 7 is now back to $5.00
 
I regret the error and inconvenience this has caused but not enough to say sorry.
 
Carry on…

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Filed under administration, col, competitions, Tipsmaster, Tipsters

Separated at birth,”That’s how I bat, ok…”

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster and King of Cricket, Ross Symons of team SYMO has finally exacted some revenge on your tipsmaster.

Over the years, Symo has had to endure the ridicule of looking like a vast number of the worlds’ population, many of them medi-evil. Symo has previously been mistaken for celebreties such as Hans Grueber from the Die Hard movies, the Sherriff of Nottingham and also Dave, the bloke in the Taupo Trout Farm Brochure -New Zealand.

But this time, Symo has hit back with avengence. Symo has found some cricketing action shots of a lookalike of your tipsmaster, Col Gray.

Click on the link for your own opinion: Col Gray lookalike

Personally, I think Symo has hauntingly found my double, a classic batsman displaying elegant shot selection, the perfection of a sporting adonis.

If only there was a photo of me executing one of my classic hook  shots the picture would be complete.

Shut up you lot, that’s how I bat…

Well done Symo, I accept your SEPARATED AT BIRTH nomination

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Filed under col, Humour, Separated at birth, SYMO, Uncategorized

BEARD – episode IV

Episode 4 of BEARD features a well prepared thinking man’s man.

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, PEAR sent us this home crocheted do it yourself BEARD. PEAR has suggested that your tipsmaster may be able to put this home made snug and cosy beard to good use since I have fessed up about the fact that I grow an ordinary beard. (If the truth be known, my beard is not bad but my mo grows sparcely with the consistency of a well worn tooth brush…)

Keep your face warm, impress your friends with an instant beard, watch girls turn into boys in an instant with your new crocheted beard.

Congratulations to our latest contestant in BEARD for showing great initiative with his very sensible, removable, home crocheted beard. The twirly crocheted mo is also a distinguished accessory on the home crocheted beard.

(By the look of his home knitted beanie, I think he may be a Richmond supporter. N.P.R)

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Filed under BEARD, col, Humour, N.P.R, Pear, Richmond, Tipsmaster

Famous Face – episode II

Episode 2 of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP’s segment, ‘FAMOUS FACE’ features a handful of our tipsters from the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP.

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, STIV was watching an obscure channel on Foxtel the other night when he came across a replay of a famous Rugby Union match from the past…11th August 2001 to be exact.

The famous match involved a New Zealand v Australia  Bledisloe Cup contest at ‘THE HOUSE OF PAIN’, Carrisbrook, Dunedin -New Zealand (woo err woo).

Tipsmaster’s note:  I wasn’t sure how to spell ‘woo err woo’, the sarcastic,supposedly  scared type moment  I was looking for which is meant to be synonymous with The House of Pain – please forgive me, I’m sure you all know what I mean.


Stiva was watching the replay of this famous contest (where the Aussies nailed the Kiwi’s arses at the House of Pain ). Suddenly the camera flashed on the sea of gold Wallaby guenseys in the crowd, only to find DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipsters, Stiva, Barnsey, Legend, Pear, Mooseboy and Col, supporting the Wallabies, singing songs and generally being very sensible Wallaby supporters on a rugby tour of New Zealand.

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster AAA AUSSIE MAL was also amongst the group, as was AUSSIE VIC, both supporting the ill fated All Blacks.

The ‘Where’s Wally’ contest in the crowd pic is to find the secret celebrity guest star, Richard Hadlee’s niece. Yes folks, the niece of Kiwi test cricket star (and wanker), Richard Hadlee happened to be in the crowd just near us and she took a little offence at being reminded that her famous uncle is indeed a wanker.

Send us your own version of ‘FAMOUS FACE’ – only on DGES FOOTYTALK

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Filed under Barnsey, col, competitions, Famous Faces, Humour, Legend, Mooseboy, stiva, Uncategorized

Shannon Grant Contest

I noticed Shannon Grant has been suspended by the Kangaroos for mucking up at a sponsor’s golf day. 

It led me to question how badly would you have to behave to muck up at a Sponsor’s Golf day. 

What did he do? 

If ever he has played golf at the Barooga Golf Course he has probably had the old battle-axe lady from the pro shop chasing him to get the golf cart back such as happened to me at our cricket club golf day. She told me I was taking too long to play my round (the old bitch didn’t think to have a go at the weekend hackers who were in front of us for the entire 18 holes holding us up). 

Perhaps it could be like DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipsters STIV, MVP BARNSEY and COL who were fortunate enough to play a round at Moonah Links. After we had been wined and dined by the drinks cart for 17 holes, we decided to have a race in the golf carts up the 18th, over the bunkers and greens etc on the prestigeous course. (I scored 218 that day) 

Perhaps Shannon Grant took a wiz on the 11th tee aka DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, Mick Dollard from team ‘The Skases’ at Tocumwal. 

How about Rockstar Steve Williamson who did the helicopter hurl with his putter on the 16th at Yarrambat. His putter is still there today, flapping in the breeze at the top of the eucalypts 20 years later. 

Let me know your thoughts of what Shannon Grant could possibly have done to deserve club suspension.

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Filed under Barnsey, col, competitions, Humour, kangaroos, Shame file, stiva, The skases