Category Archives: competitions

Tipsmaster caught naked…


Now that I have your attention – don’t forget to sign up today for the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP.

The games begin tonight.

Contact your tipsmaster if you need assistance signing up


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Who’s in the Box o’beer box seat?

Here we are at the business end tipsters and I know you are all happy for me.

You see, your tipsmaster is equal first in the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP all important race for the slab of your choice (to the value of VB) in the battle for the finals series winner glory thing…

And let me tell you tipsters. I’m getting thirsty!

Others in the running for the slab of your choice (to the value of VB) are:

BUSTLING BASIL on top and in the undisputed box o’ beer box seat.

NICH 1147 (who I am sure would love to share the slab of his choice to the value of VB with his mate Col…)

AAA AUSSIE MAL (the King of Speights Old Mac)

Last season’s slab of your choice to the value of VB winner IAN WALSH from team SKINFUL

HOOTER – say no more – Hooter and your tipsmaster are as thick as thieves and I can feel a sip coming my way should Hooter win the slab of beer to the value of VB

BYRD – I am very pleased to see that our Italian correspondent and wordsmithtress extraodinaire BYRD is in line for the slab of her choice (to the value of VB)  because I know she would love to share her spoils with her very loyal tipsmaster. Acclamazioni tipstress Byrd. Vediamo l’ora di assaggiare la birra!

OUR MITZ. Who better to win the slab of her choice (to the value of VB) than your tipsmaster’s own sister. I reckon she owes me a beer too – just for old times’ sake…

ETHAN DAVEY. My young bloke’s bestest mate would love to share the slab of his choice (to the value of VB) with his tipstmaster. Especially since he inadvertantly shared his tipsmaster’s six pack of beer father’s day present only a few weeks ago…

EL MORGANEZ – not sure if El Morganez would prefer the slab of beer (to the value of VB) or a bottle of tequila complete with worm (or scorpion as I experienced first hand the other night) Looking forward to saluting El Morganez with a celebratory something…

PEAR. One of the worlds’ great potential slab of his choice (to the value of VB) winners. Scenes we’d like to see – Pear with the watery eyes after indulging the slab of his choice (to the value of VB) in extra quick time.

These are our tipsters in the Grand Final box o’ beer box seat.

Too exciting for words tipsters.

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Judester won the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP for the second time. Judester is one of our oldest…err…longest serving tipsters in the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP and always performs well in her tipstering, whether she is winning the competition or simply taking the jackpot as she did in round 8 earlier this year. Judester is also one of our best recruiters who along with her husband HOOTER, they both lure plenty of unassuming and unsuspecting new tipsters each season. JUDESTER pocketed $730.20 for her first prize.

Well done JUDESTER a very worthy winner indeed.


Second place went to Glen Clarke of team MOOSEBOY. Glen is also a previous winner of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. On his first occasion of excellence, (back in the days of tipstering via fax machine), your tipsmaster played a bit of a game with MOOSEBOY and told him on the following Monday that MOOSEBOY had failed to submit his tips. Hence he had been awarded the away teams and failed to win the prize. Well MOOSEBOY went off his nut, blaming his wife for not sending the fax and really going into a tyradical rampage! (funny as…)

Anyway your tipsmaster later fessed up to MOOSEBOY and told him we were pulling his leg and that he really had won the prize. Plenty of chuckling was shared by all on that occasion! This year, MOOSEBOY had a stumble at the final hurdle and finished in second place with a prize packet booty of $304.25 Well done MOOSEBOY.


Third prize went to Chris Plant of team OLD SANTA –  a tipster who is always up around the top of the tipping table at the business end because he does know his footy. Although one would doubt his world famous footy scoops, such as the time he heard on the radio that Paul Salmon was a late withdrawl from the game, regardless of the fact that Salmon had just run through the banner with the rest of his team mates! OLD SANTA has won $121.70 for his third prize. Well done OLD SANTA


Our booby prize went to a very worthy winner in DANIEL CLARKE (son of Glen) At 17 years of age, Daniel is one of our youngsters in the tipping comp but has been with us for about 10 seasons. Daniel has been a prize winner before and I think this season’s strategy of forgetting to submit his tips most weeks has proven most lucrative for him as he will pocket $60.85 for finishing 3rd last. Well done Daniel.

Keep submitting your tips for the finals series tipsters where the tipster with the most correct selections after the finals series will win a slab of beer of your choice (to the value of VB)

At the end of the season I will publish a full list of all winners, including jackpot winners.

Stand by!

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Filed under competitions, Judester, RESULTS, TIPS



You will notice JUDESTER grasping firmly to her cash prize as she gladly poses for her DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP photo.

Just another happy tipster and living proof that anyone can be a winner in the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP


Filed under competitions, jackpots, Judester, TIPS

Correction from your tipsmaster.

It has been brought to my attention that an error has occured in round 6 of the DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP. Even more alarming is that your tipsmaster is the culprit of the mistake…
Hard to believe, I know but maybe it is sheer evidence that I am only a little more superior than you cretins, rather than a lot more superior.

You see, I’m struggling to come to terms with the format of fixturing in this 2011 season. Some rounds have 8 games, others have only 7.
I am guilty of assuming that the winner of the jackpot for selecting 8 winners should be the tipster who picks 8 winners.
Alas – as you will all now be aware, round 6 contained only 7 matches and no less than 6 tipsters pick all 7 games correct. SOUPIE, PADDOSTIVA, POMMIE, LEGEND, and OUR MITZ
I can appreciate that you have all been behaving yourselves of late so I am going to reward those tipsters who select all matches correctly each round, regardless of if there are 5,6,7 or 8 matches for that round. Such is the kind heartedness of your tipsmaster
A round of applause for your tipsmaster please…
The six tipsters who selected the 7 winners correctly shall all share in the $15.00 that was on offer for round 6 meaning that you are all now the proud owners of $2.50 each. Let me know how you would like to claim your booty, or I can make a note of it on file and let the winnings accumulate until the end of the season. Alternatively, for those of you who are that way inclined, you can have a sip of my beer in lieu of payment if you so desire (please brush your teeth first).
This means that the jackpot for round 7 is now back to $5.00
I regret the error and inconvenience this has caused but not enough to say sorry.
Carry on…


Filed under administration, col, competitions, Tipsmaster, Tipsters


So far tipsters we have had some great responses to our latest competition to name an appropriate song list for the stage show ‘COLLINGWOOD THE  MUSICAL’ Try some of these suggestions for size…

Hooter lovingly sent us: Duelling Banjos…….

PEAR: Better get a lawyer son, better get a real good one – The Cruel Sea

HOOTER also sent us: Denis Leary’s….”I’m an arsehole”…. Napoleon XVI…”They’re coming to take me Away”… Beck…”Loser”…

JUDESTER (Our resident Collingwood supporter)

We are the champions.

Bound for Glory.

By the light of the silvery cup (Premiership cup that is)
The Animals: House of the rising (Premiership Flag) sun. The Beatles: Happiness is a warm pie (gun).
Dion’s : Abraham, Martin & John changed to Pendelbury, Thomas & Swan.
Louis Armstrong: What a wonderful world.
Hey Hey we’re the Magpies.
Procul Harem’s Whiter shade of pale (for the alternate strip)
Rolling Stones: Paint it black (cos we don’t want the alternate strip)
Tina Turner: We don’t need another hero..(We’ve got a team full).
TIPSMASTER’S NOTE: I think it is very cute that Judester submitted some seriously flattering songs about her beloved Collingwood and she doesn’t realise we are taking the piss out of them…

THE DOGGFATHER: machine gun fallati0 – butter my ass with a magpie (butter my ass with a pigeon) – thought I get this one in before Tigey. Look up the lyrics… definitely something a magpie supporter  would do.

SMOOKS gave us: Jailhouse Rock(ELVIS P) and Jailbreak (ACDC)

Your Tipsmaster also had:

Basket Case (Greenday)
The Fool on the hill (Beatles)
Geek Stink Breath (Greenday)
Kissing Cousins (Elvis)

Please join in the fun and send us your own suggestions of songs for COLLINGWOOD THE MUSICAL

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Filed under Collingwood, competitions, Humour, Uncategorized

Collingwood the Musical


I read with interest that we are in for a new musical to hit the stage.


…spare me.

Anyway tipsters, it is your challenge to send me a list of songs you think would be appropriate to feature in ‘COLLINGWOOD THE MUSICAL.’

I’ll start you off:



Simon and Garfunkle’s ‘AT THE ZOO’

A suggestion on the wireless this morning was:


Over to you tipsters, send me your suggested song list.

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Filed under Collingwood, competitions, Humour