Category Archives: SYMO

Separated at birth,”That’s how I bat, ok…”

DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster and King of Cricket, Ross Symons of team SYMO has finally exacted some revenge on your tipsmaster.

Over the years, Symo has had to endure the ridicule of looking like a vast number of the worlds’ population, many of them medi-evil. Symo has previously been mistaken for celebreties such as Hans Grueber from the Die Hard movies, the Sherriff of Nottingham and also Dave, the bloke in the Taupo Trout Farm Brochure -New Zealand.

But this time, Symo has hit back with avengence. Symo has found some cricketing action shots of a lookalike of your tipsmaster, Col Gray.

Click on the link for your own opinion: Col Gray lookalike

Personally, I think Symo has hauntingly found my double, a classic batsman displaying elegant shot selection, the perfection of a sporting adonis.

If only there was a photo of me executing one of my classic hook  shots the picture would be complete.

Shut up you lot, that’s how I bat…

Well done Symo, I accept your SEPARATED AT BIRTH nomination



Filed under col, Humour, Separated at birth, SYMO, Uncategorized

Ridiculous comments from Poor ol’ Footscray supporters.

All of you know me.

I’m not a vindictive man, a man of revenge, vengence or grudge. I never, ever spruik about my team winning, such is the humble individual that is me.

But I can’t help it with Poor ol’ Footscray. Since the dawn of time I’ve had to endure the jibes and ridicule from the supporters of this insignificant little club. The feral voice of those with far too little to crow about rings in my head every time Poor ol’ Footscray are gunna win the premiership…again…

I feel a need to sway from the norm and share with you the ridiculous comments I’ve had to endure from Poor ol’ Footscray supporters all week. These are the Poor ol’ Footscray supporters who again prematurely blew their load before the event.

SYMO: Hi Col, As usual NZ was cold, wet & windy and I am happy to be back just in time to see the mighty Dogs destroy the Gliders tonight although the forecast for wet weather does concern me slightly (might reduce the margin to below a 100 points !!).

SYMO again: All those “Poor Old Footscray” supporters will be looking for blood on Monday Col – you know that

THE BIG V: Dogs to beat Bombers – this makes me 1 ahead in the weeks tips against Col, Hooter & Tigey. Wise tip #1 – APF!

Tipsmaster’s note: APF = Alas Poor Footscray.

THE BIG V again:hope the Roos and Thompson get smashed! Very proud of Big Bad Bazza last week, got a headlock in and avoided suspension. Bring on Round 18!

THE JUDESTER: Bulldogs (yep, big bazza to go berserk & punch everyone’s lights out).

TIPSMASTER’s note: THE JUDESTER is actually a sooky, sooky Collingwood supporter who thought she too would get on the Poor ol’ Footscray Bandwagon.

I love the footy when we win 🙂


Filed under editorials, footscray, Humour, Judester, Poor ol' Footscray, Ridiculous comments from poor ol' Footscray supporters, SYMO, The Big V



SMITTY: My funniest footy cards…I’ll explain why.


1. Ron Alexander – never seen a player take the photo more seriously.  Looks like he got out his comb and some brylcream and trimmed the mo, then put on his most serious face.  Also he looks about 45 years old.

Tipsmaster’s note: Smitty – there’s nothing wrong with being 45 years old. I’m only a few years shy of 45 and you were in the same year as me at school…and Pear and Symo are there already…


2. Brian Walsh – as a kid I always hated this card even though he was an Essendon player, and he was one of those cards that you seemed to keep getting in every second pack you opened.  As a lid I thought he looked like a fat toad….nothing’s changed, he still looks like a fat toad.

Tipsmaster’s note: I too always hated this BAD FOOTY CARD – Just another famous ‘Walsh’ in the Essendon stable.


3. Wayne Primer – I think they got him out of bed and just told him “your hair looks fine, don’t worry about washing it just run a quick comb through it”.  I think Wayne had 365 bad hair days for a few years running.

Tipsmaster’s note: Primmer Donner? Click go the shears on that mop.


4. Jezza – Of my whole card collection, about 800 or so, he is the only card  have ever seen where the player does not seem to know where the camera is.  “Jezza, over here”
Tipsmaster’s note: Jezza always had good awareness…although is that a cardy he’s wearing?

8.Phil Baker, Brent Crosswell, Frank Gumbleton & Malcolm Blight.  Nothing particularly funny bout these photos, but notice the signatures.  As a kid playing for Avondale Heights, we went and watched the Kangas train one cold winter night and I took my North Melb. footy cards in the hope of getting the signed.  I’ve included these cards to show Blighty for the tosser he was.  He refused to sign the card over his picture because “then you won’t see my face, son” and signed it on the reverse.  What a great ego. Did I ever tell the story about Kenny Fletcher and the dud cheque?……….

Tipsmaster’s note: Frank Gumbleton always looked about 45 and Snake Baker is a dead ringer for Marty Feldman! P.S. The Ken Fletcher dud cheque is a great story, Smitty…

scan0006. David Cloke, Gary Cowton, Peter Welsh & Goeff Raines –  a good sample of gay men hiding in the 1970’s.  I’ve actually got about 3 years running of Gary Cowton looking like this and I have a theory that he talked Peter Welsh into going to the hairdressers with him one day and getting the same perm.  Peter Welsh then tried to grow that beard to look a little more manly whilst Gary stuck with his mo as it worked a treat at the Blue Oyster Bar.

Tipsmaster’s note: They are brilliant BAD FOOTY CARDS, Smitty – P.S. Barnsey had a perm once – I’m still trying to get a hold of the photo…watch this space…


6. Ian Miller & Barry Padley – are these the scariest footballers you’ve ever seen, they both look like they’re just about to knock the shit out of the photographer. I think Barry was just asking the photographer “what the fuck are you looking at” as he was snapped.

Tipsmaster’s note: Avondale boys for sure, these 2


5. Kelvin Templeton – A true Bult lookalike, nothing more needs to be said.

Tipsmaster’s note: You know what they say, 1 in 3 of the world’s population is a Bult!


Filed under bad footy cards, Barnsey, carlton, competitions, Essendon, Fitzroy, footscray, Humour, kangaroos, Pear, Richmond, Smitty, SYMO



Today’s winner of the ‘RIDICULOUS COMMENTS FROM POOR OL’ FOOTSCRAY SUPPORTERS’ goes to DGES WORLD FAMOUS FOOTY TIPPING COMP tipster, SYMO for this bubonic bumble when he submitted his tips for round Fore.

FORE – that is how many wins the Dogs will have after the weekends footy


Filed under competitions, footscray, SYMO